---> I am not alone <-----

"...He makes my world stop."

Oh. My. God. She said it. Wow. Everytime I watch Grey's Anatomy, I get a warm, fuzzy feeling that lasts me at least a couple of hours. I'm such a junkie that I ritualistically prepare for the viewing by settling in with a pint of Haagan Daaz Dulce de leche ice cream (comfort food), a Diet Coke (pointless) and 3 Tylenol P.M.(to shove my insomniac ass into beautiful, empty sleep). Then I dial up Dr Drew, if I can't be with him in person and together we analyze, appreciate, and 'awww' whilst becoming enraptured by the feats and foibles of spunky young Dr. Meredith Grey. Tonight, however, Andrew is AWOL once again and the melodrama unfolding before me is only adding to my feelings of mid-twenties angst and overall disdain for humankind. Life is pointless. All it is is hurt and eventual death, intermittenly paused and shaken up by those few, select people who can stop your world. My angst stems from the fact that my world has indeed been stopped, and I can't seem to kick the motherfucker back into rotation. And he who hath stopped it, wow. What a joke.

"I don't want you," is a phrase that ranks right up there with "I don't love you." "Start planning the end." "I'm having an affair." "I'm pregnant, but you're not the father." and "Sorry, but the tumor is inoperable." It literally floors you, stops your heart. Stops your world. This is the opposite of falling in love, slow dancing with someone who makes your heart race, murmurring "I want you," on the brink of climax... feelings like that put your head in the clouds...but "I don't want you," well... we've all been there. I won't elaborate. I'm no stranger to rejection, no stranger to hurtful words and angsty arguments, but somehow this is different. Somehow, this from him hurts more.

"We're out of oranges, try these tasty nectarines."
"I don't want nectarines. I want oranges."
"I'm sorry ma'am, but all we have here are nectarines."

Yet more proof that life is predictable only in its unpredictability, that nothing is concrete, nothing is constant except for God in the stormy sky and His sad sense of humor. "Thanks a lot," I say when I pray. "Thanks a lot, you crazy man"! You sure pulled a fast one on me!" God laughs as the thunder crashes and He explains that if He'd have meant me for light living, He wouldn't have made me so sturdy. "Yeah and on that note, thanks for snail-like metabolism after turning 27, too!"

"I'm sorry, but we don't seem to have this dress in pink. Perhaps you should try the white"
"I don't want the white. I want this dress in pink."
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's really the only other option."

I think of things that might make me feel better, like smoking 8,000 cigarettes or going on an unhealthy diet, or an exspensive shopping spree or impaling myself on a piece of cutlery or something, just a little something dangerous to spice it up, a little something to make me feel. Because truth is, I've been living my life by means of avoidance lately -- shutting off my phone, neglecting emails, sleeping for 14 hours a day instead of talking to friends, not working, because let's face it kids. Does anyone really want to dial up a friend only to have the following conversation take place?

"Hey! How are you?"
"Shitty."
"Oh... really? That bad, huh?"
"Yeah, that bad. Want me to lie?"
"No... but....I mean, what's going on?"
"Well, I hate life. I'm out of my routine. I've gained ten pounds. I'm on the verge of going nuts, I have friends that are ho's, My dad is not well and I yearn for adult conversations. I'm just overall kind of lonely and desolate and hopeless."
"That's too bad...."
"Yeah, and to top it all off, HE DOESN'T WANT ME."
"Oh Jesus. Well, you don't really want him, do you?"
"Ugh. I wish. I wish that was the case, but no. I do. And he's the only one. You know, he makes my world stop, and all of that. Ugh. Does anyone have a light? So uh... hey, yeah, how have you been?"

I don't want my friends to see me like this. I'm the spunk! I'm the comic relief! I'm wild and wacky! A downtrodden, life-beaten, victim-stancing, woman-scorned Amaya just doesn't pack the same punch. So rather than smile on, and lie, or mope and cry and usurp pity, I disappear, hoping desperately that I'll find some way to fix me in the interim.

Sometimes I think it's God's cruel trick to make the most blessed people in life the most helpless and emotionally fragile. Lookie here, I got this great, two-parent nuclear family, good teeth, great hair, skin that tans without burning. I've also got brains and money, and that being said, I'm about as self-reliant as one of Paris Hilton's chihuahua babies. It's time to grow up, but no one ever said it would be so hard. People have been cleaning up my messes and neutralizing my mistakes for so long... so long, my good fortune has to have ended sometime. And so it is, I've exhausted my resources and it's just me and the Big Man Upstairs. We haven't been close for some time, I'm a stranger in His House, but we still talk occasionally, like two people who've seen an amazingly close friendship melt away into awkward acquaintanceship. Yet, there are times when I'm so scared, so lonely, so devoid of hope that I can't resist looking him up.

Sacreligious, maybe. But I like to think that God is whatever you want Him to be, whatever you need Him to be, just so long as you actually need Him. And there's no way I'm going to trust my fragile heart to yet another pale-eyed white male who wants to play the martyr and pass judgment and smite me and all of that. Because at the end of the day, what I really want, what I really need is someone to say "Hey, there's a reason for all of this. Hey, I haven't given up on you yet. Hey, I've got a plan with YOUR name on it!"

So you can be assured, quelled, pacified.... so you can muster up the strength to go on... so when you're still up at 3 am, drinking a glass of wine on the balcony, you know you're not alone. Not even when your fat jeans don't fit, not when you're miserable and friendless and ready to drive your car into passing traffic. Not even when you're out of Percoset and crazy.

Not even when he doesn't want you.

I am not alone.

:::Spring makes me smile:::

So I decided that I want my own personal in-ground swimming pool for this summer, instead of going to Grandmothers. There's too many people that are always working around her house and you just don't get privacy when you just want to swim with your summer fling/flavor of the month. My parents agreed that it would be nice so it's going to happen! We have to get building permits and junk first then it's on! So Shelley, you may be building a new house but I'll be able to fit your whole house in my swimming pool ;)

I spent my Saturday afternoon with Isaiah. We went shopping. He wanted new clothes and some cologne. He wanted Polo Black, which I love, but I told him it was a bit much for Third grade so he reluctantly went for the Clinique Happy for Men. Clinque Happy is a staple for me. It's delicious. Citrusy, Hawaaian flowers, it's great. Then we went on to Victoria's Secret where I bought some cute panties and bra's in spring pastel colors. I made the mistake of asking Isaiah did he think my light baby blue panties that tie together on the hip were cute! He said "I don't know, I'm a man." Of course I started laughing and he said "QUIT! I am the only man in here besides that other guy please don't embarass me!" I found it funny that he now calls himself a man at Nine years old. We went to Bebe and bought the cutest summer dress in Yellow!!!

We're going down to the house in Pine Island-Corolla NC for the entire Mother's Day weekend so I thought the Bebe dress would be cute with some Espredille's. I can not wait to frolick on the beach and sleep someplace unfamiliar. The question is whose going with me? Dr. Drew? He is moving to Phoenix in June and it could possibly be our last oppourtunity to see each other. Grant? He is a mothers boy, not sure if he'd leave her for a holiday. Kenny--TOTAL Mama's boy but would do anything I said. His new mission in life is to peel off my panties!!! Charles--He practically lives there already, flexible, handsome and fun. T--He's in LA, not likely to happen although it would be the best of fun! T & I agreed that if we lived together we'd have the best ever living situation--Sex whenever we wanted while we dated others, working out together, teaching each other new things like tantric sex!!! T & I agreed that we'll marry each other when I'm 30 and nobody else wants me!!!

Anyone like the '06 Acura TL? Dad says I should get one. Daddy knows best. I can't afford my 'Cedes anymore. I've never been in love with that car. He's likely to be history by the end of the week. He's like a bad boyfriend. Goodlooking exterior with a great reputation but too exspensive and on the inside isn't as great as everyone thinks. It's hard to part ways because everyone else likes him, but this is whats best for me. We're breaking up!

I have a date tonight with <3>

Poor little rich girl

On my way to Shelly's house...Shelly is the crazy chick who seriously tried ($425,000 attempt) to buy off a judge after getting her second DUI. The money didn't do shit for her. Her father owns a multimillion dollar company and tried pleading her case to a judge who didn't sympathize with her drunk ass and even said "I don't care if you're George Bush's daughter, you come in my court drinking and driving you're going to jail!" She went for 15 days :( So now she has a coke habit. She doesn't know that I know...she's always scared to tell me things because she's afraid that I'll think she's a crack head!!! She went on a $5,000 binge 2 weeks ago....she doesn't know I know though. She's so immature...she has tons of money in several different accounts that she asked me to buy her a 10 key adding machine and come balance her checkbooks!!!! So I'm going there now....then on to Isaiah's game where he will win again :)

Am I the only person that likes French Bread Pizza?

Holy Crap

Mother fucker. At $3.00 per Gallon my local gas station better have a hot gas attendant providing complimentary orgasms!

This is rediculous! I'm seriously considering selling my car and getting a bike. Fuck that shit.......for what i'm paying for gas I could get a Rickshaw and buy a mid-sized Asian family to drag me around.

Venting

Is it just me......or are there others of you out there who find Teri Hatcher's doughy-eyed life ruining character "Susan Mayers" Nails-on-the-chalkboard intolerable? Everytime this bitch gets screen time a little part of me dies.

Reasons Why I HATE Susan Mayers

-She burned down Edie Britt's house

-She had her daughter (a minor) break into her neighbor's house (a crime) to retrieve evidence that proved she burned down Edie Britt's house.

-She turns her back on Zack Young(only son of her dead friend Mary-Alice), and sends him into a further psychotic tail-spin by preventing him from seeing her daughter Julie, his one anchor to sanity.

-She asks Edie Britt's permission to go out with one of the contractors she's seeing (because Edie had been seeing him first) and when Edie appreciates her checking first and asks her to please not go out with him, she goes out with him ANYWAY. YOU STUPID BITCH OMG I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

-She sleeps with her ex-husband Carl (Who has been seeing Edie for several months) while he and Edie are on a break.

-She's a proven HORRIBLE parent and should be sterilized.

-She CONSTANTLY meddles, be it when she finds out that Gabby is having an affair with her gardener (WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS BITCH), when she stumbles upon a gun and money in mike's house (STOP SNOOPING YOU HEINEOUS BITCH), when she breaks into Paul Young's house for god knows what (WHEN WILL YOU LEARN)

I just abhore her. I know she's a fictional anorexic character but I think If I saw the waifish Teri Hatcher on the street I'd have to hit her for bringing such an annoying, reprehensible, irreversibly EVIL character to life with such ease. And besides she's dating Ryan Seacrest!

Where is your blog??

EVERYONE NEEDS A DAMN BLOG!

CREATE. WRITE. SEND ME THE LINK.

STAT!



Amaya

I'm not dead, just floating!

I had great weekend aside from the Strep. Emma's birthday party was Sunday and everyone had a great time. I even wanted the Pink Barbie Jeep that she got. The pink laptop wasn't bad either! Dad is doing well!

We went to Isaiah's game tonight. His team won Nine to Seven. Becca is a typical mother, getting angry, tense and taking his games way too seriously. He is getting better and better with every game. He was named SPORTSMAN of the YEAR last year. It was decided by his TBall league. His coach, last year, even said that Isaiah took criticism like a pro, followed directions, never complained and played smart with his heart in every game. I don't see this year being any different. My dad is so proud of him. My dad loves baseball. He doesn't like missing Isaiah's game. Chandler is doing fantastic too. He doesn't like the fact that girls are on his team. Tonight he even told me that his team sucks, but he likes to play because he's the best!

A few of my new favorite things:
*Bare Bronze Eye Palette from Victoria's Secret
*Nars blush in Orgasm
*Pink's latest CD--Cant stop listening to ALL of it, "I'm Not Dead"
*Long Bermuda shorts
*My 'LongChamp' bag that Mom's friend bought me back from Paris
*Taylor Hicks
*My Mont Blanc ink pen from Kenny
*All of my birthday cards and gifts from friends and family

Goodnight!

My fix

It's like you're a drug. It's like you're a demon I can't face down. It's like I'm stuck. It's like I'm running from you all the time. And I know I let you have all the power. It's like the only company I seek is misery all around. It's like you're a leech sucking the life from me. It's like I can't breath without you inside of me. And I know I let you have all the power, and I realize I'm never going to quit you over time. I can't see anything. Nothing but you. I'm addicted to you. It's like I can't think without you're interupting me, in my thoughts, my dreams you've taken over me. It's like I'm not me...It's like I'm lost, it's like I'm giving up slowly, it's like a ghost thats haunting me, leave me alone. And I know these voices in my head are mine alone. I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now. I'm hooked on you,the fix I can't take it, Just one more hit....

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yesterday was my 27th birthday, I celebrated it by having dinner with my family and drinks with my friends afterwards. It was a pleasant evening until I realized I'm the only girl in my small circle of friends that doesn't just sleep with men for the sake of getting laid. You all know that I'm not that predictable. Some hot 28 year old Greek guy named Will who can't make a cosmo to save his ass is not someone I'm going to give my second virginity too!!! His beautiful chessnut eyes nor his chiseled jawbones were not enough to make me say 'Mmm'.

Easter was great! Emma, Kennedy, Elijah were in their Sunday best hunting for Easter eggs today. They were soooooooo cute. We all had a great time. The weather was fantastic!

Next Sunday is Emma's 3rd birthday. She's having an afternoon Tea Party with all of her friends and even a few from daycare over to her house. The damsels are to bring their favorite doll or stuffed animal along with them. It's going to be so much fun! It's basically another excuse for me to go shopping this week.

Dad has been feeling well. I keep praying. I want to keep him forever. He's my dad.
He has another doctors appt Thursday.

It was a beautiful weekend. I had a wonderful birthday. Grant, Steve, Kenny, Andrew, Ryan, Michael, T, Kellie, Julia, Brandi--Thank you all for the calls--You all made my day :)

Just An Update

* Dad is home
* Dad is doing well

Thanks to everyone for the prayers, well wishes and positive energy you all sent our way!!! Keep 'em coming!!!

---A

Blah Blah Blah

It's raining a lot.
I miss work.
Dad is not well.
Chandler is not a baseball man.
I've been shopping for a cute handbag and I can't find anything.
I need a vacation, stat.
Vegas it is.
Steve called, he's happy.
E has formed a habit.
I've been ignoring a lot of people.
Reece is living in PA now with Renee's family.
Gigi completed her last treatment.
My doctor says I'm bitter.

Sooo

Dad has not been well. Today after being home from the hospital he said he felt better. And I feel better when I'm around him.

I'm exhausted. My body is weak and I'm mentally drained.

Thank God for good doctors, comfortable beds, hot tea and pajamas. It's past my bedtime and I need sleep

Oh and I love Daylight Saving Time!!! That means summer is right around the corner.

Countdown until Birthday #27--Vegas or LA or South Beach...the jury is still out. What would YOU do?

Dear Daddy

Dad,

Spending time with you this week has been awesome. I love you!!!




Amaya

It's Thursday Already!!!

Isaiah has a game tonight :) He's back to playing baseball! I'm so excited. Chandler is playing this year too!!! I never would have imagined that I'd say CHANDLER IS PLAYING T BALL TONIGHT. He sure fooled his doctors.

I have dance class and then I'm going to Isaiah's game. Anthony and Kellie were coming over for dinner, it's his birthday but I had to reschedule because the boys are playing ball tonight! So Sunday night it's dinner @ Amaya's.

I'm in a great mood...I think it's because the sun is shining and it feels a lot like spring :) I love days like this.

Talked to dad earlier, he's feeling great. So everyone that is praying, don't stop!!!

My Kenny

Happy Birthday!!!

I can't believe you're metamorphasizing into the strong man that I've come to love! And here you are turning 24!

We met while you and were in DC right out of school. I remember the Britney concert and how much you loved, fantasized about her. I remember how you hooked up with another chic that night. Remember how I pretended to not be jealous?! I told you that your girlfriend had a fat face so we nicknamed her 'fat face' and the name stuck! She went off to help Kerry lose the presidency and gained tons of weight and got a horrible hair cut when she came back and from there she was not cool to us!!! Ahhh....we're bad!

Remember the nights of pampering? I needed a getaway you sent Isaiah and I out of town and we got whatever we wanted and put it on your tab!! $10 bottled water and exspensive desserts!

I remember the NOBODYS PERFECT book that you gave me by the girls from The Batchelor that I was obsessed with at the time. I still have every handwritten letter from you along with every gift you've ever given me.

Remember how you helped me in May? Remember how my heart just jaded and my world crashed? But you were there and you lifted my pain. Whenever I cried, you cried. You would tell me "You got to stop crying, you're breaking my heart" I'll never forget how awesome you were then and are now.

Remember the time I told your mother that you and I were engaged? Remember how she almost had a coronary?!

Remember the time Lisa saved your life?! You thought you were dying but she convinced you otherwise!!!

I remember all the times that you were there for me when dad was sick or something traumatic went down.

Do you know how much Isaiah Chandler Emma Kennedy and I love you???

Remember that time you asked "How do I impress you Amaya" and I said "You don't"...I lied!!!

I hope you have the best birthday ever. I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I'm so happy that you're going to be a millionaire by the time you're 30!!! I love you Kenny. Know that.

Happy Birthday :)

P.S. I love your baby face!!!

Everchanging Uncertainties

Basically my life has been turned upside down. Haven & Mom were told to start planning my dad's funerel. His doctors do not expect him to live much longer. We were given that news on Friday. As you can imagine we're all really shocked and distraught. At 58 he also has early signs of Alzheimers Disease. Probable cause is his medicines. I've been crying everyday since then and I've made a couple of life altering decisions already...such as moving back home to Mclean. And leaving my position. Everyone knows just how much I love my job...but you also know that I'm a daddy's girl and he's my everything. I can't even imagine my life without my dad. How could I ever imagine life without his wink and his hugs and his nightly phone calls. I refuse to deal with this bullshit right now. So we're all planning our vacation!

Summer is coming early for us this year :) I can't wait. I can't wait to spend time with dad...I can't wait to be on the tennis court with him again. He's amazing. He's great. He's my rock. And he's my glue.

I haven't had time for much lately. I'm always tired and always moody. I've only found one fix and it has kept me from crying for 2 entire hours and it really did calm me. Just like before. As always. Some things never change. Did I really expect anything less though. "IT" always was soothing, comforting and there. The best I ever had. Or never had...

My Dream fucks

These are the men I want to fuck...in no particular order :)


1)Patrick Dempsey from Grey's
2)T.R. Knight from Grey's
3)Mathew McCaunghey
4)Anderson Cooper
5)Simon Cowell
6)Maurice Bernard from General Hospital
7)Billy Currington
8)Christ Doughtery from American Idol
9)Terry Moran
10)Enrique Iglesias with the mole

I got sunshine!

We are having the best weather ever! 82 degrees feels like summer to me. I made Emma breakfast and then we went to Kennedy's for a playdate. The girls played on Kennedy's swing and jungle gym while Lisa and I washed our cars in shorts and tee shirts, flip flops and sunglasses. I figured a bikini would be too much!!! The girls ate lunch together, Uncrustables with grape jelly and Apple Juice. Then it was time to part ways...As always they scream bloody murder and kick you while the neighbors look at you as if you're kidnapping the kid! It was long until we were in the car on our way home that Emma fell right off to dreamland! The silence was amazing.

My workout this am was awesome. I feel soo much better when I work out. With Spring around the corner I my workouts will be more frequent! I love this flip flop weather. I thrive in it.

I've been sooo tired lately. Last night I even went to bed without watching Grey's Anatomy.

Saturday night we saw 'Failure to Launch' and it's the cutest movie. I loved it. Mathew McCaunhey (Sp) was sexy as ever and Sarah Jessica Parker was just as cute. The movie was good...very predictable but nothing compares to seeing Terry Bradshaw's big white ass flash across the screen. I should mention that the drunk depressed roomate of Paula (SJP) was very funny. She wasn't pretty with her 80's bangs and 80's hoop earrings but she was hilarious! Everyone should see it.

Thursday

I am soooooooooooooooooo exhausted! I stayed up late last night and had a wonderful conversation with an Old friend :)

Woke up at 8 after getting about 6 hours of sleep to Emma telling me to wake up!
We played, ate breakfast, then went to my brother's house. We got there and it was such a nice day here that we went to the park. Emma rode her bike while my brother and I walked behind her. She's sooooooo cute. She was singing and riding her bike the entire time and would even stop along the route to pick up a few rocks to put in her basket. How cute, eh?!

American Idol is coming on in a few...going to watch that and cheer on Chris, Ace & the crazy guy that has the bad twitch--Taylor!

Isaiah, Chan & I are going to pick out Kites tommorrow. The boys are obsessed with anything that flys. My only question is...where do I buy a kite??? Dicks sporting goods?

My 10 year reunion is going to be held in July. I'm helping to put it together since I'm probably the only person that still lives in VA!!! I can't wait though. I feel like I have to train for the Olympics!!! That reminds me...I do need a date to that too. Any takers???

Dance class with Santos tommmorrow. Soooooooooo excited!!

Quotes of the Week

"You love me like a brother?! Ouch! That stung"--Kenny when discussing 'us'

"Should you wear pink on the RED carpet?" --"L" & I discussing my obsession with the Oscars and fashion.

"Amaya I'm really upset by this meeting of her. She didn't even have a waist. If she wasn't going to have a beautiful face she should have atleast had a good body. I'm not even sure if she has good acting skills anymore."
--Dad dissapointed after seeing and working out alongside Renee Zellwegger, his favorite actress.

"I will charter a jet and go after my girl"--Kenny on rescueing Emma in Puerto Rico

"I am sorry for making fun of your 'friend' Mark. He did afterall get you drunk, take you to a strip club, look down your shirt at your tits and you ended up with him in a hotel room." -Grant justifying why he made fun of Mark.

"Grant, it's going to take roses in Pink, White, Yellow... oh and Lavendar to make up for calling Mark a loser. And Godiva Passion fruit truffles and don't forget about the the Andre Chreky gift card and then I'll consider forgiving you, mm K?" --Becca milking Grant after he apologized for calling Mark a loser while going into Starbucks.

Me after leaving Starbucks and reflecting: "If Grant thinks that he is going to get you four dozen roses, passion fruit truffles and an Andre Chreky gift card--he's in for a rude awakening!"
Becca: "Don't mess this up for me, My!"

Kenny: "I don't like that guy, Maya" (talking about E in Chi town)
Amaya: "Kenny! You don't like any of my guy friends"!
Kenny: "This is true."

"Don't do it, baby" --T, on the phone chatting when I told him I missed E in Chi town.

Haven: "I'm meeting Joey for lunch"
Me: "Joey wants you to get it on with his swinging wife"
Haven: "Ewww!"
Me: Giggle, snicker, giggle
Haven: "Hey, if this is what it takes for me to lose my appetite, I'll call you everyday during my lunch hour!"

Brian Bradley: "Hey girl! What time are you getting off?
Me: "After my 6 pm meeting"
BB: "Mmm, Can I watch?"
Me: 'Huh'?
BB: "I want to watch you get off" haha
Me: "Not in this lifetime" after throwing my GolfStyles magazine at the perv

"Hello Gorgeous" 21 month old Kennedy when her mother told her I wanted to talk to her on the phone

"You've been eating Doritos, Sheesh! Thats not good"--Me to the Korean dry cleaning lady with bad breath

Random IM from Britney--BrokeAsses Ex she stalks me.
"I thought about you the other day and decided to read your blog page.. happened to come across that i was a lying cunt. LOL. hilarious. have a good one, gullible."
Me: I'm sure you think of me a lot. It's been 2 years I fucked him a thousand times. Get over me already. Michael must have told you that we're hanging out again!

"Little Mama, One Wish by Ray J is our song"--Grant being mushy
"Look at what you do to me! --Grant showing me his hard on, uh huh!

"Theres my girl" --Ryan when he answered his phone during Spring Training!

Me: "Everyone makes fun of poor Mark"
Becca: "Because they don't know him"
Me: "Perhaps they're all on to something, Steve, Kenny and now Grant can't all be wrong"
Becca: "They've never seen his body or his eyes"
Me: "True"

Cute Attorney: OK, if the platinum locks, tan skin and killer curves were not enough . . .the Playboy tat?!
Me: Getting Pissed!
Attorney: Some guys go for your kind of look I guess
Me: Stomping my feet
Attorney -- I am SOOOO one of those guys!

Me: Singing "I'm in love with a stripper"
Grandma: "Thats a dirty song"
Me: "I'm in love with a stripper"
Grandma: "I'm going to tell your father!"
Me: trying to catch air after laughing so hard "QUIT IT, You kill me"
Grandma: "I won't kill you, but your father will"
Me: After picking myself up off the dining room table "You can be my stripper" while running away from her and her dry dish towel.

Becca: "Isn't Charles handsome?"
Me: "Yeah, he is now that he's modern"
Becca: "What do you mean?"
Me: "The guy had hair that was growing from his ears and had big Sally Jesse Rapheal glasses, he was a dork!"
Becca & Me: In unison: Giggle, Giggle, haha haha, can't breathe and she rolls off the big bed falling 3 feet atleast, the ground onto my heels hitting her in the forehead!


Rick:"Who would you prefer, McDreamy or McSteamy?"
Me: "You-- McSexy"
Rick: "Okay, McHottie, I'm Sorry but he's not an option"
Rick and I obsessed with Grey's Anatomy so much that we've came up with our own names, he's 'McSexy' who has a lovely girlfriend and I am 'McHottie' who drools over him!.

I'm a high roller!

Becca & I had dinner with Security guy that we'll call "L" on Thursday.. It was a fun night until he locked his keys in his car. Of course more than one guy said that it was a ploy to stay with us! Haha. Not very smooth. After I said a quick prayer to God begging him not to let me have to let this guy stay the night, he was able to pop the locks with a metal wire that he slid through the cracks of a window. Pretty ghetto fabulous. On with it...
We met up with "L" at 8 o'clock. He was looking very GQ in his distressed jeans and Oatmeal Eddie Bauer sweater with a off color Oxford underneath and brown boots. His hair was the way I like it...messy and spikey. His face was freshly shaven and his eyes the color of cold saphires. His smile was very young and innocent. Becca described him as GAP boy. To me, he's better than that. He's got depth. He's got range. He lives in a loft on a river and Kayaks as often as possible. Does not watch tv, only reads. He reads because growing up as the son of a preacher man in Wisconsin, TV was forbidden. He reads the bible. Was shocked to know that Becca and I know more than the average blond with boobs about the Bible. It wasn't his trendy jeans or beautiful baby face or sexy diamond stud in his ear nor was it his hair that I couldn't help but think about pulling while fucking him...no it was his scent! I've always been turned on by a man that smells as good as he looks. "L" smelled clean. He smelled like Suntan lotion/coconut soap. It was the first thing that gave me NHO! I was turned on all 2 hours of our night together. It does not matter if it is a hot designer cologne such as Higher by DIOR or Black by Ralph Lauren or Gaultier in the blue bottle or the smell of soap on a man, his scent is a good indication that he takes care of himself. Good hygiene is sexy. Afterall we're all hanging out again on Monday and I haven't been this turned on by a guy in a long time. In case you're wondering, Becca is the one with the mad crush on this guy.
In other news Mom & Dad were in their hotel gym working out last week with one of mine & Dad's favorite actresses, Renee Zellwegger. When Dad was telling me how he was literally running beside her & he was utterly disgusted because he said that "she had no waist, was lucky to have weighed 80 lbs and was probably 4'11'' tall." He said that she was very unattractive in person and that she did not even have a nice body. He did say that she was a very nice young lady. Everyone knows that Mom never says anything harsh about the way that people look, but she had to have been ugly if Mom agreed with everything dad was saying!!! I remember once that E said that she always looked drunk!!! Thats still pretty funny and yet I do agree with him. While in New York City they took in two shows, 'Spamalot' with Hank Aziria and Lauren Kennedy, and Spelling Bee with 'the guy from Frasier'. Mom was interviewed to participate in the Spelling Bee show! They asked her what her occupation was --Banker-- and she said that she knew she lost when asked that! She forgot to mentione that she was teaching kickboxing. That would have won her debut on Broadway but silly mom forgot to mention her cool qualities :)
So while @ Mom & Dad's to water the plants (yes, I Iive a wild life) I saw the March issue of Washintonian Magazine on the dining room table. I'm a fan of the zine so I read it...I saw THE infamous shot of the 'Covert' Valerie Plame in her pajamas while a photographer was supposedly attempting to get a shot of the Bush Admin Skeptic, Joe Wison, her hubby. I read about the boring Alan Greenspan and his replacement and then I turned to '25 Beautiful People'. I see this very handsome guy, read his biography and he wants to be the next Tiger Woods. I keep reading and something is oddly familiar with this guy I read the name and it is, HOLY SHIT...It's NICK !!! Nick that sells pharmacuticals, Nick. It was Zac and Ryan's boy, Nick. Nick that is so sexy, Nick. Nick that I posted a blog about in September! It was the hot ass guy that got my juices flowing :) T--I TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT HIM and everything that happened and DIDNT HAPPEN. THIS IS THE GUY!!! He was the number 1 hottest guy in DCVAMD. He is hot. Wherever you are and whomever you're fucking tonight, Congratulations Nick! I'm still a little jealous that I didn't make the cut!!! If you pick up the Washingtonian you will find Nick in there.
Tommorrow night is the Oscars. I can't wait. I'm cheering on Reese and Joaquin. Not a huge fan of Heath Ledger. Too gay for my taste.
All is good in my hood.

Boys Bras and Beers

G Money and I had a fight lastnight. I totally dismissed him and told him to take a hike. He told me he had falling in love with me!!! WHO KNEW?! After feeling like shit for being so mean to him I called him this morning to tell him I was sorry. We've agreed to be friends or atleast polite to each other. He's dating now so that should be healthy for him. It was going nowhere with us so it's for the best. Tonight I'm meeting up with Becca and the security guy for beersould be interesting to see how this goes. It's weird how my mind works because I was picking out my outfit that I intend on wearing and I was going for lots of cleavage and I'm wearing my 'whore' bra. It's a demi that my boobs just sit in and of course it's no IPEX but my boobs look and feel like they're in everyones face when I wear this bra. Thats why it's my 'whore' bra. Not that I'm gettind ho'ed out but I like feeling sexy even if i'm not hooking up with the guy. T--we have to chat, stat!!! Going to the doctor for a check up....wish me luck. * A

Me. Boring. Me.

*Just had lunch with my brother. We watched Martha Stewart and decided to make her specialty. Call us gay. Chicken salad with apples, wasn't bad.
*I've got mad cooking skills. My parents came over on Monday night and I made spaghetti. My mom told me this morning as they were leaving for NYC that it was the best spaghetti she's had in a while. She knows that I'm obsessed with Martha and figured it was Martha's recipe. She's always on in my office too. I learn so much from her. I will be a domestic goddess.
*Mom & Dad left for NYC for a few days to take in some shows, do a little shopping and enjoy the city. I'm jealous. I couldn't go because work is keeping me busy. So what else is new?
*I haven't had time for anybody lately. I don't know what the fuck happened. I haven't been social since thursday. I'm in a funk. Sheesh...just dawned on me that it was because of Eric in Chicago. I listen to him and reflect on everything that he says and sometimes I take everything he says to heart and don't ask me why this affects me--I don't know why. Well he's fucked me up again. I have so many great guy friends who would love to fill in where Eric was, but for some fucked up reason I won't let anyone go there.
*I need to get laid. Just call me Anita Lei!!!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Rated PG--Happy Birthday"Miss B Haven!" We celebrated her 25th birthday Saturday. What a night it was!!! Dinner! Drinks! Dancing! Debauchary! We had dinner in Charlottesville where I met up with some of my girls from school and Haven and her girlfriends arrived @ the Maverick and all 14 of us had a lovely dinner. When asked "Whats the wildest thing you've done this year?" Since it is only February I had to break out with the Strip Club story. Everyone agreed that it was the wildest. The waiter actually said it was probably the best strip club in that area. The girls channeled their inner lesbian and decided that we should go. I said why not and thats exactly what we did!!! We belted out all of our favorite 80's tunes from Heart's "ALL I WANNA DO IS MAKE LOVE TO YOU" to Sinead O'Conners "NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU" all the way there. We got to the club and guys immeadiately offered to buy us all drinks because as we entered the Bouncer announced that it was Haven's Birthday.Their pheremones drove me crazy. The place reeked of testosterone. We were all watching "Ivy" do her thing when Nick from Fairfax approached me by pulling my hair {Big Turn-On} and telling me that His boy who was in VIP sent him down to tell me that I was the hottest chic in the room and he wanted me to dance for him--being in WV I'm not sure how I really feel about that.

They were the kind of guys who slap on pink button down shirts and Curve cologne before they hit up house parties, and their sex appeal is effortless. Boyish dimples, long fingers, with trendy shaggy haircuts-- not really my type at all. We all agreed that they were the boys that had posters of pre-K Fed Britney Spears and Brooke Burke on their walls. Everything an 18 year with a push-up bra and an exposed navel could hope for. He was just feeding me bullshit. I'm sure he used that line a lot that night. I told Nick that his boy could not afford me! We sat there and watched them live strange, predatory, exciting lives as we hid behind our Martini's with a knowledge base far beyond their understandings. Young, what I wouldn't give to be young. I am young, but I'm 26-young. I'm not 21 young, and none of this is new to me. I'm not going to fall for Curve cologne and a pink shirt, just as I'm sure that no one I'd want falling for me would prefer me in a shirt exsposing my tits and skirt revealing my sweet stuff. I have a voracious sexual appetite, but I'm not an easy girl, or an especially careless girl when it comes to sex. I'd still prefer to know someone's middle name before I allow them to peel off my panties, I'd still prefer that the person undressing me knows at least that my favorite color is pink and that I prefer my eggs unfertilized! I then made eye contact across the room with a goodlooking blond hair, blue eyed guy who was with 2 women. We were sitting near head to toe mirrors so I turned to reapply lipgloss and he was staring at me in the mirror so I winked at him--it was on from there. The girls he was with kept shooting me evil eyes so that made me fuck with them even more. The girls went to the bar and left him there alone with me and my girls...He turned and asked was I having a fun time--Of course I was. We shot the breeze and immeadiately asked for my number. Although it was rather soon I did it anyway. I love being scandalous. So I stuck it in his pocket and little did he know I gave him my girl Trish's number. She lives for sleeping around with guys she doesn't know. I'm wondering if he's called yet. He'll get whatever he wants from her. She's not picky at all. He told me that he was wildly turned on when he seen me sitting on Anna's lap. Funny guy. He was thinking I was bi. He was mildly disapointed when I had to burst his bubble and tell him that Anna is a sorority Sistah not my lover. We all danced with Haven and it was clear that we got more attention with our clothes on then the cheap little girls on stage. Out of nowhere this Dark haired, italian Versace clad with blue eyes came from behind and started dancing with me. I felt the rock in his pants on my lower back and the way he was moaning in my ear with hot breath on my neck I could have sworn he came in his pants. He's not the type to wear underwear. Fucking sexy. I'm by no means a prostitute, but it's something that as a woman, I come to find myself doing naturally. I export myself, I make myself valuable with the clothes I wear, the narrow slits of my blue eyes, the thick rope of hair that falls down my back. Perfume that smells like hawaiian fruit, teeth bleached to the shade of a snowflake, my skin as brown as a freshly toasted muffin -- I'm a product of the product I sell. And just because I sell, doesn't mean that I can't also be addicted. I'm addicted to hot breath on my neck, a warm tongue sliding up the curve of my lower back, a hard yank from the hand twisting my ponytail. I'm addicted to being the object of fantasy, addicted to shallow breath in a dark room, addicted to the curl of my toes and the tension of my teeth biting down hard on my lower lip; addicted to someone else's hands slipping down into forbidden areas, addicted to another's addiction to me.

Sex sells. He bought me a drink and gave me $20 for the dance! I know that he doesn't mean for it to look like he's 'tipping' me for a night of cheap fun, but that's what it feels like. $20, wow. What is the going rate, anyway? But then again, I think to myself, if I'd been paid $20 everytime I danced, I might have already had my penthouse-dreamhouse in Chicago, so I don't say anything and stuffed the money into my bra. With a quick kiss on the cheek he was gone. I know what you're thinking... you stupid girl, you've just been had for $20 and a dance, lured in by the familiarity of someone who knows how you like your eggs. But you would be wrong, because I'm no naive virgin, and I hardly expect anything more at this point. He's the one who's been had. I've fed my addiction and managed to get $20 and unfertilized eggs out of the deal.
Sex sells. And we're all sell outs.

I Want to Be Bad

After about a week of feeling like Trish...I mean TRASH, I've decided that I have to get out of this house and have some fun with the girls. I'm hoping its not a bad idea because just yesterday I felt like I was on my death bed...I guess we'll see! And I'm horny, godblessit! I'm a few hours away from humping the furniture!!! Oh and Anderson Cooper from CNN with those baby blue eyes needs to let me sex him. I should take a nap and get ready to go out for a bit. I want to be bad! No....I want to be good. Well, reasonably good and well accessorized!!! The last time I went out, I didn't get carded...Mother fucker! I ex foliate, moisturize and have an at-home micro-derm abrasion kit. I could easily pass for a senior in high school. How dare you assume i'm old enough to buy alcohol. How DARE YOU! Oh and Just the other night I was thinking to myself "Whatever happened to P!nk?", and next day I caught her new video "Stupid Girls". There comes a point where an artist in an attempt to be satirical fails miserably and instead reaches new levels of hypocrisy. (Jewel and Eminem come immediately to mind). While lyrically brilliant , it's video jabs at the likes of Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson detract from the overall message of the song. In fact, their very presence (albeit in unflattering parodies), are proof that as long as there's people in this world who give them attention (negative or otherwise), they're not going to go away anytime soon. It took a catchy girl power anthem and turned it into a dumb blonde hate-fest. I have to say tho, Kudos for Pink on actually getting a 50 cent cameo. How the hell did you manage to get 50 cent but not Paris Hilton? "A video making fun of me? That's Hot!"

I'm in love with a stripper!

Yes, that gets the most play on my ipod. Can't help it. I didn't blog my night @ the strip club to protect the innocent...but if you know me at all you know that I can't stop thinking/talking about the hot stripper in the genie outfit who copped a feel of my tits and knew that they were real then proceeded to tell me "NICE TITS". Call me dirty, but she had me wondering if I was going to have a noticeable wet spot in my pants. She was that awesome. I've never been truly aroused by another girl, but this experience opened a window for me and she has had several starring roles in my fantasies. Yes, she was that hot.

It's friday night and I'm home with a raw throat that feels like I'm eating razor blades every time I swallow. My fever is gone, I was getting a little delierious with it...

I'm listening to 80's big band ballads alone tonight. Not in the mood to hang out. Not in the mood for much, just an orgasm or two!!!

I have been sick all freaking week. The Penicilian is not working either. I woke up @ 7 am this morning after the good Doctor tried to comfort me and make me feel better. Then @ midnight Steve called. He told Victoria it was over, she refuses to accept it. She needs a rich husband and they lack chemistry--His words, not mine! Steve refuses to be her 401K. Perhaps I'm being mean here, but Victoria's mother called Steve. Victoria is 38 years old. How is that normal??!! Reminds me of Rodger the Retard from my summer in the Shenandoah Natl. Park, when he was sick his mother would call in for him. Granted he was mentally challenged so it was acceptable. But when is it okay to let your mother really get into love life? That just spells disaster for me. My mother would kick my ass and tell me to forget about him if he wanted to end things with me. She wouldn't let me cry or fight for a man who has made it abundeantly clear he wasn't into me. It would be his loss. Not mine. So Victoria should just give up. Walk away with some pride. We've all had our low moments and for a woman who has dated Royalty, was a Parisian model, wrote a children's book in 7 different languages, this is probably her lowest moment. Next to sending her son and his problems off to France....I'm being catty. I'll stop. Moving right along....@ 4:23 am I was awakend by "HAVE YOU BEEN CALLING ME"--A blast from the fucking past, Eric from Chicago! {T's a big fan!!} Supposedly @ 4 am he thinks I have nothing more to do than prank call his sorry ass in Chi town. It was just a way to keep me on the phone by accusing me of something I didn't do. He failed at getting rise out of me. I think I even giggled at his lousy attempts in between my coughing and hoarsness. Didn't matter to him. He was just being needy and he needed me to make himself feel better. Why, I'll never know. I even thought about hanging up on him for my own pleasure, but I thought maybe something was wrong with him and I shouldn't be so rude. I continued to talk to him until 6 am my time. I have to let the past go, right, Dr Miller??? He's doing well. Nothing else to report. I'm not going to contact that crazy bastard though. He does this out of the blue shit often. I'm not getting involved with it. With that said, I have the most painful sore throat ever. I can't even imagine what my girl Gigi must be taking on when I can't even deal with strep throat!!! I do think my meds are making me gutsy. I actually told the lady at the dry cleaners that she had dorito breath about 30 mins ago. It was gross. I had no right saying it, but I'm tired of keeping my thoughts to myself. Thats what this is for. It's my meds, I'm growing {theoretical} balls!!! Update more when I feel better.

Rejected V-Day Cards

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunkBut the thing I like best, is getting you drunk

9. Our love will never become cold and hollowUnless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the storeIn hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so rightI just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of classEspecially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or cornySo, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

A lesson learned

I shouldn't be pissed but I am. I shouldn't feel so bad, but I do. I shouldn't think such mean thoughts but I cant help myself.

Perhaps it's true. Maybe I am better than most. Maybe I do deserve better than self centered, cowards who hide behind their fears. Who am I to argue with fate?

I demand 100% from everyone. Being afraid is unacceptable.

What happened to the masculinity? Remember how Kevin fought for Winnie? Why does it always have to be difficult? Why can't it be fun and ever lasting? But if I didn't have these experiences I wouldn't be able to differentiate the bad from the horrible.

And yes, it's so hard to take the high road! As a woman of class I'll bite my tongue!

Now. I feel much better!!!

SJP

"Did I dissapoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty
Because I saw the end
Before it began
Yes I saw you were done
and I knew she had won
It may be over but it wont stop there
I am here for you
if you'll only care
you touched my heart
you touched my soul
you changed my life
and all my goals
love is blind and that I knew
my heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you
I am a dreamer and when I wake
you can't break my spirit
its my dreams you take
As you move on, remember me,
remember us and all we strived to be
I've seen you cry
I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts and now we're fine
And I love you and I swear thats true
I'm moving on without you!"

Just me...

Who ever said that Clinique's High Impact mascara is waterproof--they're liars, dammit!!!

So supposedly we got our Blizzard of 2006. We got 10 inches the most. Most meterologist are men and we all know how much men exaggerate with size! It wasn't that bad, I just couldn't drive and talk on the phone at the same time. Big deal.

A lot has happend, I've reconciled with a certain someone. We're on good terms again.

You all know that I'm going to be out of town for a while. I'm not even sure when I'll get back. I haven't decided.

I've took some time off of work 3 weeks all for Amaya :)

Enjoy the holiday people while I'm soaking up the sun and having the time of my life with the friends I'll never forget :)

Aunt flow? Where are you? How I miss you....

My Boys

Peyton Manning died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton." said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Peyton felt special and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house. It was a 3-story mansion with a Black and Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Steeler flag and in every window, a Terrible towel. Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but, why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Peyton that's not Ben's house, it's mine."

Dad Update

I have recieved a lot of emails, calls and text messages from people who are concerned about my dad, the news is this...he's home from the hospital is doing relatively well. We're just so lucky.

For those of you who don't know, Dad suffered a heart attack this past week. It has been called 'slight' but nonetheless it was a heart attack and it's still very serious.

He excercises daily, eats right but has a failing heart. He is on 'the list' for a transplant.

My dad is my rock. He's the glue in my family. I'm his sweetie pie and he's my daddy. He's the best of the best.

Thanks for all the prayers. It's what gets us through all of this.

Steelers

As you all are aware--My steelers are the best!!!

I'm sorry about the redskins...I was cheering for them as well just because I'm local!!!

Miss me.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, T Baby!!!

Preliminary Resolutions

I'm hoping this is just the winter blues...but I've been feeling quite blah for a while now. I don't like it. It doesn't feel like me. There hasn't been any life altering tragedies or disasters or setbacks. This 2006 has not really kicked off for me!! 2006 was to be A year of potential discoveries, potential heartbreak, and potential disaster, but a year with potential nonetheless. I'm just blah...ya know?!

Possible reasons why I'm feeling blah...

Perhaps it's because of Tyra Bank's orange weave. It's rather disgusting but liberating for her. She is likable but the girl is too politicly correct and ghetto fabulous at the same time. Not good for me!

And then you have the fact that sometime this summer, Angelina Jolie will bear the offspring of Brad Pitt, thus creating the most genetically perfect human being ever to be spawned. Thats going to be big. I like Angelina Jolie. I respect her work. I'm not keen on Brad Pitt. As Jennifer once said he's missing the sensetivity chip. He should have waited a while before procreating, just my thought.

I'm overworked. I partied on Saturday. Had a great time with Adil & Sammy on Sunday. Drunk dialed Grant...what a mistake that was! Has anyone ever noticed that I complain too much??

I'm sitting here downing my fiji water and I just decided that when I work out, I feel a lot better so I'm going to get to the gym and take the rest of the day and do some nice for myself.

I just decided that this will be a new starting point for me....

Here’s to new beginnings, here’s to feminism, and love, and Jennifer Anistan. Here’s to Tyra’s weave and to fiji water, and to being brave enough to get what I want and humble enough to accept the fact that I might not be able to. Here’s to baby Jolie-Pitt, and to Grant, and to tying up loose ends. Here’s to a new year, and to the new, improved, but always original, Amaya.

Happy Birthday Chandler

Today is Chandler's 6th birthday! We celebrated by having a quiet dinner here. Italian is the man's favorite. He was so cute dressed in his suit, but he was like a fish out of water. Everyone knows that Chandler is a real 'punk rocker' underneath the sharp threads! He is into guitar. He wants to have his own band one day. And now he has all the equipment to start his own band! The guy got a new drum set, keyboard and kareoke thingee. Not to mention the cool electric guitar that Santa decided to toss down the chimney!!! All in all it was a wonderful night. We all came back here for ice cream cake. The kid has great taste!!!

I had a wonderful day. All is well with me!

Miss me????

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


A

Think

I'm always preaching about how we must kill each other with KINDNESS :) This was forwarded to me via email. I felt that we all can read these and reflect on them.

---------------------------------------------------
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor.

"In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.


2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached...
t read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies... You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Forever and a Day

I have been seriously neglecting my blog. I have been super busy with the holidays, which were great! I had a beautiful Christmas with the Warner families and the Graves families. It was a very prosporus Christmas. I always go crazy. Atleast I'm not the only one because my family tends to do the same. I did manage to turn in all of my Salvation Army family's toys and food in on time! I had a beautiful NYE. I have also made NY's resolutions. Hopefully I'll make an attempt at these!!!

With the new year brings a lot of house cleaning at work. I am so organized I can put Bree from DH to shame. I have spent much of the new year at work copying and filing documents. 2005 was a great year for the company. 2006 will crush 2005 though :)

Renee & Reece are moving to Mexico in March. I don't know what to say to that. My mother is going to host a going- away party for her. I'm not sure I want to be there. There is a lot of mixed feelings between us. It has been too long since I've actually seen my Reecee Cup. Do you guys even remember how much I loved my little guy?! Do you remember the lengths I went to for him? Do you remember coming by or calling and finding me at Renee's or at the Park or at a Dr's Appt with my little man??? Do you remember when you would want to hang out and I would have to decline because Reece had the sniffles or he had a fever? Do you remember seeing me buy diapers and clothes and toys for my little guy? Do you remember? I do too. It's still just as difficult. I miss that kid. I know he still remembers me. I know he misses me holding him and telling him how much I loved him. I know he misses me holding him, period! He'll be 2 in June. I know he'll be fine. But the little guy and I formed a bond that you don't forget about even if you're only 1. I know I never will. His uncle Kurt will always take care of him.

I'm sure everyone has heard about the tragedy at the Sago mine in WV. It has been so heart wrenching and there is nothing you can do or say and you don't even know where to start. I pray for peace for the families. I wish I could alleviate any pain that the families are dealing with. Soo many, soo young. I saw a headline that said Heaven has 12 new Angels, that basically brought comfort. When you think about their souls going on to Heaven it brings peace for a second. One Miner even left an hour by hour account. How hard that must have been. I have so much to be thankful for. Shit, we all do. I can't reflect much on this because it tears at my heart.

All is well. More later.

It's the most wonderful time of year!

I am happy to report that I'm done with Christmas shopping. All is done and wrapped :) I think this is the first time that I've actually finished this early!!!

Me and Mom, some friends and my aunt went shopping last night. It was too much fun. I didn't get home until well after midnight. Now I remember why I hated living in Mclean and why I love it here. Everyone is bitter and greedy in Mclean. Here, we're just happy go-lucky's!

I'm admitting that I go overboard with gifts this time of year and now since my parent's aren't paying any of my bills and I have to pay my own I can't drop $500 on each brother/sister/parent/nephew/neice/grandparent!!!! Sure nice things cost an arm and a leg but I have to stop this insanity.

Speaking of insanity...my boy Kenny went overboard this Christmas too. I asked him. Strike that, I told him that I don't need exspensive gifts! He spent way to much on me. I'm the girl with everything and there is nothing in this world that I really need! He knows my weaknesses and went crazy with it. I gave him some small suggestions. Clinque Happy Perfume, anything from Sephora, something small and inexspensive, right? He didn't listen to me! His reasoning is because I spent a little more on him than he did me...WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER DISCCUSSED HOW MUCH MONEY WE SPENT ON EACH OTHER!!! I think he was trying to outdo me!!! I thought that was impossible!

I got him some things that he needed. I got him the Nate Berkus Decorating Book, Titanium Cuff Links from Tiffany's, A Velvet Coat (not by some hot Italian Designer either) some candles, A frame with a very meaningful picture in it and something that belongs to me that he has wanted forever :) I gave in to him!!! I'm sure he's going to love it!!!


My stylist is coming to stay with me for 3 days in January. He adores me! He told me that I'm by far the sweetest person he knows!!! He's married. He's hot but it ain't like that! We're just really great friends. We got coffee yesterday and spent an hour just talking about his accident where he was brutally stabbed, beaten and left for dead in a school yard while leaving a sports bar in October. Every time I think about what happend to him I think of Eric and Zhoumas and it makes me wonder what kind of bastard could have hurt Adil the way they did. So he's coming in mid January. We're going to go skiing, do some hiking and probably just chill. He asked if he could come stay with me because he needs to clear his mind. He's still frightned by what happend to him. It's fucked him up. He's a wonderful guy I still don't know why this had to happen to him.

Everyone should have recieved their Christmas cards from me already...if not...then don't blame me!!! The post office was chaos! I thought I was smart by going during lunch...I was wrong!

Gigi is doing wonderful guys, keep praying!

My bonus was awesome!!! It was more than I was expecting :) Did I tell you that I work for the best company, not to mention the best people ever ;)

Merry Christmas!!!



Amaya

I've been soooooooooo busy that I haven't had time to update my blog! What a shame, right? I rarely have any free time lately between work, shopping, and Christmas I don't have much time for anything!!

I know just about everything I got for Christmas this year already! My family just isn't smart. They should know by now that I know that all gifts wrapped in PINK are mine :) It's one of my favorite colors :) Tiffanys, Cristal, & Cavalli....looks like it's going to be a great Christmas!!

Nothing else to report. All is well. I'm doing well. My family is well. 2005 was a good year. A lot better than 2004. So much drama!!!

Christmas luncheon tommorrow, Party in McLean on Wed night, then it's time to get with the Warner fam then it's on to My fam and then home to the Graves'!!! So much family. You all know I love my family :)

I'm so in love with prego Gwen Stefani's new song "Luxurious"--it's my song!

More later..........

Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed!!!

This time of year gets me so excited! Not to mention that Deb, Gi's mama called me this a.m to tell me that she is infact doing well and Erica, the rock that she is, is doing just fine too. Gigi did develop body acne and is basically a walking blister. The acne is just a reaction to the massive amounts of chemo and radiation. It's clear that this is the worst form of cancer there is. And my girl is soldiering on! She can't eat, no tongue...or it's no longer a real tongue, she has liquids only which is fed through a feeding tube. So it is the toughest, mentally as well as physcially. You do everything through your mouth, talk, eat, breath....She is going to make it. She told me she was. I have faith!

On friday I went to Pier 1 and I found my new tableware and flatware. I got this gourgeous Bamboo charger with Oak sides for a steal @ $25. It's so nice. I chose a mocha plate set with an expresso colored mug. I also got the bread plates, soup bowls and napkins to match. The flatware I got with a "W" on them. It's very nice. My grandmother was pleased when she saw everything yesterday. I decided to go with a snow white table runner as my grandmother suggested because my dining room table is so pretty that I don't want to cover it up. I went with a lovely shade of oatmeal placemats that are velvet. It's beautiful. I'm redoing my kitchen floor. Isaiah cracked it and I demanded that everything be replaced. It's brown and white mixture of colors. My mom's kitchen was just finished. She turned her kitchen into the kitchen at the Little Inn at Washington. Her kitchen is so nice. Every freaking detail right down to the cobalt blue tile! It's afixed with her huge flat screen apple computer to search for recipes and watch CNN while she cooks. It's absolutely amazing. I'll have to take pictures. She has an island sink with a double oven. She really went far out even with the Refrigerator that looks like it's a big pantry door. She's very proud of it. Exspensive but worth it. I don't intend to makeover anything to the extent that she has! My new favorite color is pomegrante red for a dining room. I won't go that far though. It's a lot of red.

So I found this years Christmas card. It's so peaceful and humbling and it just captures so much of how you percieve Christmas and winter. I'm calling it "OLD MAN WINTER". The envelopes are silver lining and they're gorgeous. I must admit I do have great taste!

As far as Christmas decorating goes, I think I'm going to decorate on Saturday the 26th, I took the day off for shopping but I think it's time to start decorating too. I'm still trying to figure out my theme. I bought the tree topper already. It's an Angel praying on one knee with a tiara that lights up. As soon as I saw it I had to buy it. It's lovely and sweet. Reminds me a lot of myself!

I have a huge Christmas list again this year but I love buying for others and it's time to start. We're going shopping after work on black friday. I have to shop for my adopted family from the Salvation Army. I have a family of 5 this year. I agreed to take it on so I can't complain!!! Christian is 6 and wants a bike, Abigail is 7 and loves baby dolls (which little girl doesn't?), Joseph is 12 and wants a 'boombox'!!! I thought that was funny when I saw that. The parents just want food to eat on Christmas. Can you imagine? No. I clearly can't. I can't even imagine that people in our prospourus country go hungry and is worried about food. I'm worried about how the food will be presented on my table. Some people don't even have the food! Wow. Humbling when you think about that. I'm going to encourage everyone to adopt a family this year. Or a child. Don't just put money into the red kettle. Go the the Salvation Army and take on a family. My family has been doing this for years. My grandparents even invite their adopted family over to there house right before the holidays. A lot of times people have refused to come because they're ashamed but the past few years they have came. I'm not saying you should invite strangers into your home but we all are able to say that we do well. We all waste money. We all do contribute a lot to charities but it's Christmas and could you imagine waking up and not having presents on Christmas??? It wouldn't be Christmas. And yes Christmas isn't about gift giving but to the kids it is. And somewhere we'll know on Christmas morning that a kid and his brother and sister all have a present and they have food to eat. To me thats the best gift we can give to ourselves!!! So call the Salvation Army and adopt your child/family today!!!!

I will check up on my friends and I better hear that you all are doing your part! Faith you're excused from this. Brandy and Davy have already bought a lot for their kids.

At work on December 10th. Yes, that means no NYC afterall. I'm having a Christmas party for our employees children. We're going shopping on Dec 2nd to get all the toys. So far, a lot of employees are bringing their kids. This is the first time ever doing this but I think it will be a hit. I've even decided that we need to be in the Christmas Parade. We just have to come up with an idea for a float. The parade is Dec 3rd which is the same day as my cousin Danny's winter wedding, but it's an evening wedding so I can do it all!!! If we can come up with a float idea related to the Caverns. I was brainstorming but perhaps we could have the Holy Night scene taking place in a cave background on a float?! It's going to be hard but it's a start. I'm open to suggestions! I'm almost desperate.

I just popped in my Mariah Carey Christmas CD and I'll be singing O Holy Night all day!

So all is well here in VA. Can you guys believe that I'm cooking for the holidays? Crazy huh?! I've just discovered that cooking is an art and like any art you have to perfect it. I'm cooking a lot more these days. You'd all be impressed!

I'm on my way to the gym now. Muah!

I love this time of year!

Thanksgiving is here! I have a lot to be thankful for. I count my blessings everyday. My family is all doing relatively well. Isaiah will be 9 yrs on Sunday. How can that be?! My coworker Crystal is having a baby shower on Sunday and I'm the hostess! I don't have a gift just yet. I just printed out her registry and everything is pink! I'm not sure I like it...

I'm listening to Gigi's song Free Bird. She and I would sing this all the time. We only knew it because of the Eagles remake. And now I'm listening to the freaking lyrics and it's weirding me out! I'm just now realizing this. I can't wait to get back to LA. It was awesome. Flying sucks but I'm going to get used to it. Thats my girl so I have to go back!

Kenny offered to completely pay for her Black Tie Casino Night that we're hosting at the ballroom @ the Cave for her. He needs the tax write off! I won't let him. He can come and donate though! I'm actually going to his sisters wedding. Thats going to be fun. He's quite a character. I love Kenny.

My boy T Man got into some drama last weekend. My boy had to spend the night in the slammer! He got a DUI. Katie, if you're reading this--It was a breath mint that fucked it up! He actually blew 0.09! And thats just so gay. And speaking of gay, I'm attracted to my friend Bill @ work. He is flaming! He's stunning! Fucking hot. MMMMMmmm! If only he was straight....damn.

He went to my grandmother's Dame's afternoon tea party at Limair with me! I was completely ambushed by my Grandma, She treated me as if I was a trophy! Made me stand up and turn around so everyone can see that I'm as 'pretty as a picture'. It was lame but Bill made it so much fun :) It's weird. I find myself staring at him and ain't it just like me to want something I could never have!!!

I've been slacking with the workouts lately but I insist on hitting it hard in the a.m. back to the treadmill! Oh and My stylist Adil did Angelina's hair at the Hay Adams last week. He said that Brad was not hot and that Angelina is breathtaking. No surprise there. Connor Fux, Actor, starring with Brad in All the King's Men said that he (Brad) had bad BO. Probably something kinky Angelina is into!

Speaking of celebs I don't know if I mentioned that Dave Mathews was at my salon a few weeks ago. He's pretty fat. Too chunky for my taste.

Faith is getting accustomed to living on her own! She hasn't heard from her husband!!! Isn't that awesome?! She's vulrenable and if he just approached her and asked her to reconcile she's as good as gone!!! I know her. She's weak. I intend on keeping her from him. I'm not letting her get back into that messed up thing she called a marriage. Next time she may not make it out alive. She's already seeing this Greek Guy--which is all wrong for her. It's too soon but anything to keep her mind of Danny (husband)

Dr Drew is in Texas for the Holiday. I'm going to Grandma's like every year. It's weird. I still have a text message from Erock on my cell from last Thanksgiving. He was at his Aunt & Uncle's. I need to let it goooooooooo. Anywho....

So shopping on friday will be lots of fun! Whose down? A repeat of last year Mike??? Thats Mike 24, my boy toy that I went to David's wedding with! I need to specify. I actually forget sometimes how many people read this!!!

Desperate housewives are on and I'm getting ready for my favorite show ever!!! Keep in touch people!!! Miss me!


XOXOXOXO,

A

Great News!

Sweeeet November

November has been good to me thus far! I just managed to finish unpacking from my globe trotting. Our trip was amazing. It was great to see my girlfriend Gigi. She promised me that she will be fine. I also promised her that I would be back to LA before Christmas. I did quite a bit of shopping. It was a very good time overall.

Not much to update you on. I've never been more busier. I've met some interesting guys and dating keeps me busy.

I'm still in love with Grey's Anatomy. It's awesome. Ever watch it? It's on Sunday nights on ABC.

I'm back at work, filling in for my uncle on a needed basis. Everyone knows that he's in the reserves and he was called up. It's my duty to help out when I'm needed.

I am completely redoing my bedroom. And my kitchen. I get bored easy. It's time to make a change.

All is well. Isaiah made the honor roll. His birthday is on the 28th. Can you guys believe that he's 9 friggin years old???? Me neither!

Dad is good. Emma & Kennedy & Chan & Matty are all doing well.

I'm tired and I need to get to bed. I'm a high roller!!!


God Bless & God Keep

A

My Gigi

On Sunday after having too much fun with friends and family on the anniversary of my friend Roderick's death, I got some horrible news about my girl Gigi.

It turns out that she's no longer responding to the Chemo and the cancer has spread from her lymphnodes to everywhere. And she's not doing well. What I actually heard was she probably won't make it. How the hell do you deal with this?

She's too young and I'm mad. And I'm not losing my girl. Mom, Haven Becca and I are flying out to LA within a few weeks. I want to see her. I didn't initially because I deny things to myself at times and I basically didnt want to face it. Now I have to. Thats if I want to see her alive. And Mom told me that she may need to see some of her friends to start getting better.

Gigi & I were great friends and Haven & Erika were friends too. We just all got along so well. We had the best fun in highschool and I refuse to just accept that she's not going to make it. We can send men to the moon and yet we have no cure for cancer. Some things will never make sense to me.

I spent my Sunday night crying myself to sleep because I can't watch another friend just pass.

In other news:

Everyone knows that my uncle John got called up. He's in the Reserves and he has to be at the Pentagon for 6 months to "FIGHT THE WAR ON BIOTERRORISM" and then he's on to Irag for 1-2 years. He recentley proposed that I stay on board during our winter months to help keep operations running smoothly and efficiently since he won't be there. I told him that I couldn't commit 40 hours a week, but I'm more than willing to be available atleast when someone needs me and something comes up. I think that is good for now. I'll probably do more as I'm needed. Her understood. He also told me how I'm now a great asset to the company :) Yay! I think I need a raise :) Whats another 20 G's among a family with an empire ;) We are Virginia Royalty, right John ??!!

My brother has successfully retired the crutches and the cane. He's walking well and he's doing better. Mom has been ill a lot lately. I worry about her. Dad sees his dr on the 28th to prepare for the surgery. Thats going to be all kinds of fun.

This picture was taken on Sunday of the Diaper Posse at my Great Grandmas :)
From left to right:
Chan da man, Seth, Kennedy, Nate, Emma with the corkscrew curls




Did I mention that it's been raining all month here?! I think I need to get back to bed :)

You Know You're From Virginia When...

you know you are from virginia....

You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because its "top secret" government work

Most of your senior class went to Longwood, Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain

You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.)

It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can.

You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for.

Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner"

You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC

You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid

You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English

You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school

All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience


Crown Victoria = undercover cop


Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro.

They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place

For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa

If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names.


You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

"Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens.

"Going to the River" means any stream with water.

You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?

"Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes.

"Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Virginia.

Seems Like Just Yesterday

Here it is upon us 1 year since Roderick's been gone. I miss him so much. I miss his smile that just melted me. I miss him in his pajamas playing with Reece. I remember how shy I was and I wanted Reece to sleep in his room instead of in his cradle in Renee & Roderick's room! I remember our last conversation. I remember the day I said goodbye. I remember how hard that was. Rod & I always had the most fun. We always loved making fun of crazy Renee. Rod was the guy that you went to with all of your dilemmas. He was the pyschologist of our circle and he taught us a lot about ourselves. He even told us when we screwed up!!! Now our circle has been broken and it can't be fixed.

Renee and I don't talk like we once did. I was there for her during Reece's birth, during his Baptism, during Roderick's accident, death and now its as if we're nothing. I miss Rod. I miss Reece. I miss Renee.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today


I miss my Rod.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/MissMaya2004/Firstmeal.jpg

And then this one time...

Can you believe that I was so bored today that I cooked??? Nobody can! I made Eggplant Parmesan and daddy even stayed to eat! I'm well on my way to becoming the next Martha Stewart. I was pleased. It turned out well.

Yesterday was horrible. Becca & I were shopping when Ian-Bradley called her cell to tell her that the school nurse @ Chandler's school said that Chandler was not 'acting like himself' and that he was complaining of a sore throat. Becca & I left Linens N Things where we were going nuts of the new Nate Berkus line which is now on my new Christmas wish list :) We finally got to my brothers and Chandler was throwing up and we drove him to the ER where he was examined and the dr's feared the worst as did we. Miningitis. There was a note sent home to Becca from his teacher alerting us of the break out in a nearby school. So we were scared. And because of all of the nuero problems he's had in the past we always feared this fatal crap. After an MRI & a Brain Scan and sitting in the hospital not knowing anything for a total of 12 hours the doctor told us that he just has a stomach bug and there was no trace of the Fatal shit. We were relieved!!! He came home and was hungry. He was even talking and demanding to sleep in his new VOTE FOR PEDRO tee shirt that he's obsessing over these days. I secretly allowed him to watch Napolean Dynamite with me and now he's loving it. I bribed him lastnight. If he could eat an entire bowl of chocolate icecream (2 scoops) I would buy him the Napolean Dynamite dvd for Christmas. It's on! Chan-da-man ate the entire bowl! No throwing up! No fever today and we've been lounging in our jammies and I've had to dance for him even on the coffee table to MTV!!! The kid is a rock star and we're going to be famous :)

Andrew broke his foot playing kickball!!! Who still plays kickball?! Thats Andrew with the glasses not Dr. Drew.

Grant, Trish, Becca, Ian-Bradley, Courtney and I are going to the 49er's & Skins game on the 23rd. Which will be 1 year that my boy Roderick's been gone. Fuck. I miss him. I wish it got easier, but it doesn't. The same with my brother Brent. I just wished one morning, one day I would just wake up and not cry over them. I wish. I love them so much. I get scared when I have to think about the 23rd. I start to cry because that awful day is still fresh and I still remember everything. I just wish I didn't. I'm good @ blocking bad things out of my mind but this is so much I just can't fucking deal with it. I keep telling myself that life goes on...time rolls on, but I miss them. What about Reece? I got to quit this shit. My therapist tells me that it will all become more bareable....I'm just waiting... If they only knew how much I missed them.

Daddy is doing good. Missy isn't. My girl Missy was diagnosed with Lupus yesterday. And the dr called her this am to tell her she's diabetic too. Poor girl. I feel so bad for her. We need to help her. I just wish I knew how. Any ideas?

My parents are back from Alaska. They loved it.

Faith is now seeing a doctor who is going to help her get out of the marriage. He is also her husbands doctor and he told her that he was 'a strange one'. Hopefully she will listen to the voice of reason this time. Strangely enough, I do have a bit of hope.

My girl Brandy is pregnant. I'm the Godmother!!! Yay!

As for my dating life...I've been on 2 dates this past week and they were good. I'm just not looking for that right now. Don't ask. I'm just bored. Could I just meet one that interests me for longer than 1 dinner and 3 drinks? Is that too much to ask? You guys have to spice it up a bit. Give me some mystery. Don't dazzle me with the good looks, baffle me with the bullshit! Leave me wanting more! And dont blow up my phone either. Thats boring.

Going to the gym before the moon turns to rust.

KISSES!

Amaya

It's Raining Men!

Not really but it's a good gay song! It is raining a lot here, two days non-stop. We closed the course yesterday because @ 2 pm three holes were underwater. I'm sure today they drowned!

Nick is so hot. Thats all I'm going to say about that. I like. A lot.

Faith had to cancel plans yet again. Her husband is so pyschotic. He asked her yesterday how it would feel if she never woke up!!! How the hell is she supposed to know? Clearly the guy is phucking nuts.

I stayed home lastnight. I didn't do jack. We ordered Chinese and cheesecake and stayed in & watched dvds. I ended up falling asleep early. Becca woke me up @ 7 this morning to go with her to her friend Shelly's house to get ready for an open house there. She's selling her home for $500,000. It's nice but I'm not interested.

We looked @ her pictures and talked shit about everyone from our old high school! The lesbian Cheney girl, the whores, etc... We broke out the cheap White Zinfindel and started drinking and talking drama. Then we got into the Bourbon and I had to quit! That she is too much for me. We started to get tipsy so we decided Shelly needed pumpkins! We went to this Orchard and got pumpkins and mums. She decided that she wanted to buy flowers and pumpkins for her friend Andy. I had to stop her. Purple mums = a fag. Yellow mums is okay!!! We had a lot of fun in the apple orchard picking Apples too :) Then we went to the Apple Valley Bakery which made the Washingtonian magazine and had the best Coffee cake and Sumatra coffee. It was a lot of fun. We finally managed to get back home and then I fell asleep!

My parents came out and wanted us to go to dinner. I sent everyone on their merry way and slept my buzz off. I'm so bored right now. It's 8:30 and I'm bored out of my mind. I just may call and invite Nick or Andrew or Zac or Dash or whoever the fuck I want over!!! Nah, I'm not. That would be too much work & maintence and i'm lounging in my pajama jammy jams with a severe case of cabin fever.

Ya know...The sound of the rain is great background music to lots of lovemaking!!!!

I just realized, I'm lonely. Damn.

I'm sad.

Bleh!

My own pity party

I'm still sick. I don't feel well @ all. I should see the dr. Dr Drew thinks I have the avaian flu...just kidding. Yikes! I shouldn't say that. It's far from funny. I'm scared of that shit.

Taylor Behl's body was found in Mathews County near the Cheasepeake behind a barn in a shallow grave. Turns out they found the farm through a photograph that the satanic fucking bastard took of the place. The odor was overwhelming and the FBI knew that her body was there as soon as they arrived--All of that from FOX news. I can't even wrap my mind around a punishment that would probably be harsh enough for this pyschopath.

Speaking of which Becca may be dealing with one. Mr. Baker. She's met him twice @ work. He told her that shes the only woman besides his wife that he has ever looked @ in a loving way. He told her that she was too beautiful and it kills him to look @ her. She is scared. Her boss told her that Mr. Baker was a strange man and he assured her that it would never happen again. I've always said we were loser magnets.

Holy shit! PYSCHO MAN AGAIN! Tuesday evening Becca, Emma & I were having dinner @ this restaraunt 30 mins from my house. This weirdo was sitting 4 tables behind Becca and 4 tables in front of me....The restaurant wasn't overfilled. About 5-10 other people in the dining room along with us. WEIRDO started talking aloud to the waitress wanting to know what was the ingrediants in his meal!! DUMB. He was telling her how great it was and he loved it, blah blah blah. Because he was talking so loud Emma turned around and was staring @ him because he was stupid! And out of nowhere, really loud--PEEK A BOO! PEEK A BOO!! PEEK A BOO!!! So loud and retarded. Emma looked at us as if asking WTF is that?! PEEK A BOO! PEEK A BOO PEEK A BOO!! Becca & I just started laughing because we have never seen someone do that to strangers in a restaurant in front other guests!!! We found it funny. At first. Then he wouldn't stop. It was annoying the other guests too. After about 20 mins of PEEK A BOO Emma started ignoring him and she probably sensed he was a weirdo. The hostess seated a couple in front of me, behind Becca to break up the one man game of PEEK A BOO. He said to the couple-ver betam-"I may have to ask you to find another table because me and the lady (he was referring to Emma) are having a game of Peek A Boo. And I heard on the radio that if you play you will stay young and I'm playing Peek A Boo". We couldn't believe our ears!!! So we got the check and the Manager came over and told us that he was going to pay for our check because he knew that the guest was bothering us and we really didn't have a nice dinner as nobody finished their meals or drinks! Nice gesture. Then WEIRDO asked for his check and the manager followed us to the door and waited outside as we left the parking lot. WEIRDO followed us to Barnes & Noble!!! We told the mall security and they said they'll keep an eye out on him. We wanted to leave so the B & N loss prevention guy said that he was in the Children's section sitting on the train and they were going to watch the weird bastard. I'm wondering why is it us that always come in contact with the weird mohuckers? Why are we magnets?

Becca & I agreed that he was definetly a child molester. He was so sick. His teeth were yellow. He never brushed them and he was wearing thick black glasses from the 60's. Horrible looking fat guy. Spooky. I couldn't sleep much after that.

Emma shopping with us :)



She's thinking "I make these look good"

Showing me what she thinks of the destressed jeans @ Express:



"DO THESE MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG, MINI?"



She's so smart :) She's such a girly girl. She bought a black leather handbag with faux fur on it, she's becoming her own woman!!!

I miss him.

Mr Navy


He got away.

Damn hes hot.

PS The sex was good.

Allow me

To introduce to you....

Mr & Mrs Brokeass :)

Daaaasssshhhh

From Dash: So special.....I feel like you are a unique person Amaya...is that true? I mean I've never seen anyone so self-possessed and strong...and sensually attractive.

I think he's hitting on me ;)

Honestly, he sees me. He's hot. He just may get it :)

Me

I'm sick. I have a cold that will not go away. I haven't felt well in days. I'm still working though. Such a trooper :)

Dad has to have surgery. I just learned that this a.m. Thats a big shocker.

I have lots of work to do but don't feel like doing it.

Bleh...

It's Monday night and I'm sick with a cold. So much has happened within the past 72 hours I figured I should share it...

1. Adam called me on Sunday just to tell me that he misses me & can't help but think of me when he should be concentrating on "Heather"! Thats his fiancee. They're supposed to get married July 3, 2006. He wants to see me soon. I havent seen him since Roderick died nearly a year ago. He's still the best of the best.

2. Brokeass Mike got married & moved to Seattle! How retarded is that? He always wanted us to do that. I could never. He's such a party boy it's disgusting. She isn't ugly either. Her name is Marci. I'm sure they're having fun, but will it last. He's a committment phobe! I can't believe he got rid of Pyscho Britney. Whatever the case may be, I know he reads this so I wish him all the best. Oh p.s. He's unemployed!!!

3. Married Mike found out that his wife is cheating on him with an older man who probably has more money than he has. Shame. Karma is a bitch.

4. Kenny got a job promotion and moved into a hot place on the beach!!! He's doing so well. I'm probably most proudest of him. He is my baby. <3 my Kenny. Can't wait to see him in NYC.

5. Dr. Chang is currently dating other girls. Ashley a fashion student, 21 & Alissa a dentist, 25 He's doing well too.

6. Grant is so sweet too. He's no longer the master of his domain!!!
7. Charles just broke up with the girlfriend. He failed to mention he had one.

8. Andrew the eyeglass wearing hottie will be here on the 7th. MMmmm.

9. Faith is having problems in her marriage still. She won't leave the fucking bastard. He's making her crazy.

10. Trish had surgery and is doing well.

11. Haven & Becca is doing well.
12. I'm sick. Because of the weather change I have a sore throat & earache!
13. Dash is producing a commercial in Baltimore and wants to hang out. He just wants sex.

14. Can't wait to see Mark & Pierre this weekend. Soooooooooooo hot!

15. Work is good. I'm becoming shy. I get embarrassed easily. Long story.



Take care everybody & email me :)

I won't be updating my journal much during the month of October it's a busy work month for me!

Road trip Nov. 2nd :) Can't hardly wait!!!


Muah Muah Muah!!!


PS--T, I hope you don't mind that I lied to Eric about you & me doing the nasty. I had to hurt him some way!!!