Kids these days. What the hell is wrong with them? I just got back from attempting to enjoy an evening coffee at Starbucks, but instead of savoring the aromatic goodness that is coffee, I found myself eavesdropping on a couple of teenage girls having what I can only assume was a conversation.
Without exaggeration, in the span of 15 minutes one of the girls used the word "like" 112 times. Do the math, kiddies... That's more than 7 per minute! 1 every 8 seconds!!
If this is how kids talk these days, then I weep for the future. Both of these sweethearts were pretty, dressed nicely and not once did I hear a swear word from either of them. But is their vocabulary so extraordinarily limited that every other word has to be "like"?? This bubblehead even finished a few of her sentences with "like".
"I was, like, you know, trying to tell him, like, that he has to go to, like, math class, like!" I think my ears started to bleed at that point.
Maybe it isn't the kids' fault that they're idiots. Perhaps the funding for our education system has been reduced so much that the school boards have resorted to cutting basic programming such as knuckle-dragging, mouth breathing and English.
Or maybe the parents are to blame. After all, if kids grow up listening to terrible speech and grammar then it's only natural that they'll pick up those same habits, right? We do learn by example afterall.
But then that must mean that the general population surrounding these moron kids is linguistically inept!
Or is it TV? Shaggy from Scooby Doo must've imprinted on their tiny, maleable, peanut brains!
Oh, these poor, poor children! What are we going to do??
I don't care whose fault it is. Stop talking like a Valley Girl and let me enjoy my coffee before I toss you into the trash can. Like.
