My Gigi

On Sunday after having too much fun with friends and family on the anniversary of my friend Roderick's death, I got some horrible news about my girl Gigi.

It turns out that she's no longer responding to the Chemo and the cancer has spread from her lymphnodes to everywhere. And she's not doing well. What I actually heard was she probably won't make it. How the hell do you deal with this?

She's too young and I'm mad. And I'm not losing my girl. Mom, Haven Becca and I are flying out to LA within a few weeks. I want to see her. I didn't initially because I deny things to myself at times and I basically didnt want to face it. Now I have to. Thats if I want to see her alive. And Mom told me that she may need to see some of her friends to start getting better.

Gigi & I were great friends and Haven & Erika were friends too. We just all got along so well. We had the best fun in highschool and I refuse to just accept that she's not going to make it. We can send men to the moon and yet we have no cure for cancer. Some things will never make sense to me.

I spent my Sunday night crying myself to sleep because I can't watch another friend just pass.

In other news:

Everyone knows that my uncle John got called up. He's in the Reserves and he has to be at the Pentagon for 6 months to "FIGHT THE WAR ON BIOTERRORISM" and then he's on to Irag for 1-2 years. He recentley proposed that I stay on board during our winter months to help keep operations running smoothly and efficiently since he won't be there. I told him that I couldn't commit 40 hours a week, but I'm more than willing to be available atleast when someone needs me and something comes up. I think that is good for now. I'll probably do more as I'm needed. Her understood. He also told me how I'm now a great asset to the company :) Yay! I think I need a raise :) Whats another 20 G's among a family with an empire ;) We are Virginia Royalty, right John ??!!

My brother has successfully retired the crutches and the cane. He's walking well and he's doing better. Mom has been ill a lot lately. I worry about her. Dad sees his dr on the 28th to prepare for the surgery. Thats going to be all kinds of fun.

This picture was taken on Sunday of the Diaper Posse at my Great Grandmas :)
From left to right:
Chan da man, Seth, Kennedy, Nate, Emma with the corkscrew curls




Did I mention that it's been raining all month here?! I think I need to get back to bed :)

You Know You're From Virginia When...

you know you are from virginia....

You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because its "top secret" government work

Most of your senior class went to Longwood, Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain

You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.)

It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. (Yeah, man...at least. Probably also happens everywhere else.) A red light means 2 more can.

You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for.

Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner"

You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC

You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid

You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English

You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school

All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience


Crown Victoria = undercover cop


Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro.

They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place

For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa

If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names.


You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

"Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens.

"Going to the River" means any stream with water.

You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?

"Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes.

"Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Virginia.

Seems Like Just Yesterday

Here it is upon us 1 year since Roderick's been gone. I miss him so much. I miss his smile that just melted me. I miss him in his pajamas playing with Reece. I remember how shy I was and I wanted Reece to sleep in his room instead of in his cradle in Renee & Roderick's room! I remember our last conversation. I remember the day I said goodbye. I remember how hard that was. Rod & I always had the most fun. We always loved making fun of crazy Renee. Rod was the guy that you went to with all of your dilemmas. He was the pyschologist of our circle and he taught us a lot about ourselves. He even told us when we screwed up!!! Now our circle has been broken and it can't be fixed.

Renee and I don't talk like we once did. I was there for her during Reece's birth, during his Baptism, during Roderick's accident, death and now its as if we're nothing. I miss Rod. I miss Reece. I miss Renee.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today


I miss my Rod.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/MissMaya2004/Firstmeal.jpg

And then this one time...

Can you believe that I was so bored today that I cooked??? Nobody can! I made Eggplant Parmesan and daddy even stayed to eat! I'm well on my way to becoming the next Martha Stewart. I was pleased. It turned out well.

Yesterday was horrible. Becca & I were shopping when Ian-Bradley called her cell to tell her that the school nurse @ Chandler's school said that Chandler was not 'acting like himself' and that he was complaining of a sore throat. Becca & I left Linens N Things where we were going nuts of the new Nate Berkus line which is now on my new Christmas wish list :) We finally got to my brothers and Chandler was throwing up and we drove him to the ER where he was examined and the dr's feared the worst as did we. Miningitis. There was a note sent home to Becca from his teacher alerting us of the break out in a nearby school. So we were scared. And because of all of the nuero problems he's had in the past we always feared this fatal crap. After an MRI & a Brain Scan and sitting in the hospital not knowing anything for a total of 12 hours the doctor told us that he just has a stomach bug and there was no trace of the Fatal shit. We were relieved!!! He came home and was hungry. He was even talking and demanding to sleep in his new VOTE FOR PEDRO tee shirt that he's obsessing over these days. I secretly allowed him to watch Napolean Dynamite with me and now he's loving it. I bribed him lastnight. If he could eat an entire bowl of chocolate icecream (2 scoops) I would buy him the Napolean Dynamite dvd for Christmas. It's on! Chan-da-man ate the entire bowl! No throwing up! No fever today and we've been lounging in our jammies and I've had to dance for him even on the coffee table to MTV!!! The kid is a rock star and we're going to be famous :)

Andrew broke his foot playing kickball!!! Who still plays kickball?! Thats Andrew with the glasses not Dr. Drew.

Grant, Trish, Becca, Ian-Bradley, Courtney and I are going to the 49er's & Skins game on the 23rd. Which will be 1 year that my boy Roderick's been gone. Fuck. I miss him. I wish it got easier, but it doesn't. The same with my brother Brent. I just wished one morning, one day I would just wake up and not cry over them. I wish. I love them so much. I get scared when I have to think about the 23rd. I start to cry because that awful day is still fresh and I still remember everything. I just wish I didn't. I'm good @ blocking bad things out of my mind but this is so much I just can't fucking deal with it. I keep telling myself that life goes on...time rolls on, but I miss them. What about Reece? I got to quit this shit. My therapist tells me that it will all become more bareable....I'm just waiting... If they only knew how much I missed them.

Daddy is doing good. Missy isn't. My girl Missy was diagnosed with Lupus yesterday. And the dr called her this am to tell her she's diabetic too. Poor girl. I feel so bad for her. We need to help her. I just wish I knew how. Any ideas?

My parents are back from Alaska. They loved it.

Faith is now seeing a doctor who is going to help her get out of the marriage. He is also her husbands doctor and he told her that he was 'a strange one'. Hopefully she will listen to the voice of reason this time. Strangely enough, I do have a bit of hope.

My girl Brandy is pregnant. I'm the Godmother!!! Yay!

As for my dating life...I've been on 2 dates this past week and they were good. I'm just not looking for that right now. Don't ask. I'm just bored. Could I just meet one that interests me for longer than 1 dinner and 3 drinks? Is that too much to ask? You guys have to spice it up a bit. Give me some mystery. Don't dazzle me with the good looks, baffle me with the bullshit! Leave me wanting more! And dont blow up my phone either. Thats boring.

Going to the gym before the moon turns to rust.

KISSES!

Amaya

It's Raining Men!

Not really but it's a good gay song! It is raining a lot here, two days non-stop. We closed the course yesterday because @ 2 pm three holes were underwater. I'm sure today they drowned!

Nick is so hot. Thats all I'm going to say about that. I like. A lot.

Faith had to cancel plans yet again. Her husband is so pyschotic. He asked her yesterday how it would feel if she never woke up!!! How the hell is she supposed to know? Clearly the guy is phucking nuts.

I stayed home lastnight. I didn't do jack. We ordered Chinese and cheesecake and stayed in & watched dvds. I ended up falling asleep early. Becca woke me up @ 7 this morning to go with her to her friend Shelly's house to get ready for an open house there. She's selling her home for $500,000. It's nice but I'm not interested.

We looked @ her pictures and talked shit about everyone from our old high school! The lesbian Cheney girl, the whores, etc... We broke out the cheap White Zinfindel and started drinking and talking drama. Then we got into the Bourbon and I had to quit! That she is too much for me. We started to get tipsy so we decided Shelly needed pumpkins! We went to this Orchard and got pumpkins and mums. She decided that she wanted to buy flowers and pumpkins for her friend Andy. I had to stop her. Purple mums = a fag. Yellow mums is okay!!! We had a lot of fun in the apple orchard picking Apples too :) Then we went to the Apple Valley Bakery which made the Washingtonian magazine and had the best Coffee cake and Sumatra coffee. It was a lot of fun. We finally managed to get back home and then I fell asleep!

My parents came out and wanted us to go to dinner. I sent everyone on their merry way and slept my buzz off. I'm so bored right now. It's 8:30 and I'm bored out of my mind. I just may call and invite Nick or Andrew or Zac or Dash or whoever the fuck I want over!!! Nah, I'm not. That would be too much work & maintence and i'm lounging in my pajama jammy jams with a severe case of cabin fever.

Ya know...The sound of the rain is great background music to lots of lovemaking!!!!

I just realized, I'm lonely. Damn.

I'm sad.

Bleh!

My own pity party

I'm still sick. I don't feel well @ all. I should see the dr. Dr Drew thinks I have the avaian flu...just kidding. Yikes! I shouldn't say that. It's far from funny. I'm scared of that shit.

Taylor Behl's body was found in Mathews County near the Cheasepeake behind a barn in a shallow grave. Turns out they found the farm through a photograph that the satanic fucking bastard took of the place. The odor was overwhelming and the FBI knew that her body was there as soon as they arrived--All of that from FOX news. I can't even wrap my mind around a punishment that would probably be harsh enough for this pyschopath.

Speaking of which Becca may be dealing with one. Mr. Baker. She's met him twice @ work. He told her that shes the only woman besides his wife that he has ever looked @ in a loving way. He told her that she was too beautiful and it kills him to look @ her. She is scared. Her boss told her that Mr. Baker was a strange man and he assured her that it would never happen again. I've always said we were loser magnets.

Holy shit! PYSCHO MAN AGAIN! Tuesday evening Becca, Emma & I were having dinner @ this restaraunt 30 mins from my house. This weirdo was sitting 4 tables behind Becca and 4 tables in front of me....The restaurant wasn't overfilled. About 5-10 other people in the dining room along with us. WEIRDO started talking aloud to the waitress wanting to know what was the ingrediants in his meal!! DUMB. He was telling her how great it was and he loved it, blah blah blah. Because he was talking so loud Emma turned around and was staring @ him because he was stupid! And out of nowhere, really loud--PEEK A BOO! PEEK A BOO!! PEEK A BOO!!! So loud and retarded. Emma looked at us as if asking WTF is that?! PEEK A BOO! PEEK A BOO PEEK A BOO!! Becca & I just started laughing because we have never seen someone do that to strangers in a restaurant in front other guests!!! We found it funny. At first. Then he wouldn't stop. It was annoying the other guests too. After about 20 mins of PEEK A BOO Emma started ignoring him and she probably sensed he was a weirdo. The hostess seated a couple in front of me, behind Becca to break up the one man game of PEEK A BOO. He said to the couple-ver betam-"I may have to ask you to find another table because me and the lady (he was referring to Emma) are having a game of Peek A Boo. And I heard on the radio that if you play you will stay young and I'm playing Peek A Boo". We couldn't believe our ears!!! So we got the check and the Manager came over and told us that he was going to pay for our check because he knew that the guest was bothering us and we really didn't have a nice dinner as nobody finished their meals or drinks! Nice gesture. Then WEIRDO asked for his check and the manager followed us to the door and waited outside as we left the parking lot. WEIRDO followed us to Barnes & Noble!!! We told the mall security and they said they'll keep an eye out on him. We wanted to leave so the B & N loss prevention guy said that he was in the Children's section sitting on the train and they were going to watch the weird bastard. I'm wondering why is it us that always come in contact with the weird mohuckers? Why are we magnets?

Becca & I agreed that he was definetly a child molester. He was so sick. His teeth were yellow. He never brushed them and he was wearing thick black glasses from the 60's. Horrible looking fat guy. Spooky. I couldn't sleep much after that.

Emma shopping with us :)



She's thinking "I make these look good"

Showing me what she thinks of the destressed jeans @ Express:



"DO THESE MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG, MINI?"



She's so smart :) She's such a girly girl. She bought a black leather handbag with faux fur on it, she's becoming her own woman!!!

I miss him.

Mr Navy


He got away.

Damn hes hot.

PS The sex was good.

Allow me

To introduce to you....

Mr & Mrs Brokeass :)

Daaaasssshhhh

From Dash: So special.....I feel like you are a unique person Amaya...is that true? I mean I've never seen anyone so self-possessed and strong...and sensually attractive.

I think he's hitting on me ;)

Honestly, he sees me. He's hot. He just may get it :)

Me

I'm sick. I have a cold that will not go away. I haven't felt well in days. I'm still working though. Such a trooper :)

Dad has to have surgery. I just learned that this a.m. Thats a big shocker.

I have lots of work to do but don't feel like doing it.

Bleh...

It's Monday night and I'm sick with a cold. So much has happened within the past 72 hours I figured I should share it...

1. Adam called me on Sunday just to tell me that he misses me & can't help but think of me when he should be concentrating on "Heather"! Thats his fiancee. They're supposed to get married July 3, 2006. He wants to see me soon. I havent seen him since Roderick died nearly a year ago. He's still the best of the best.

2. Brokeass Mike got married & moved to Seattle! How retarded is that? He always wanted us to do that. I could never. He's such a party boy it's disgusting. She isn't ugly either. Her name is Marci. I'm sure they're having fun, but will it last. He's a committment phobe! I can't believe he got rid of Pyscho Britney. Whatever the case may be, I know he reads this so I wish him all the best. Oh p.s. He's unemployed!!!

3. Married Mike found out that his wife is cheating on him with an older man who probably has more money than he has. Shame. Karma is a bitch.

4. Kenny got a job promotion and moved into a hot place on the beach!!! He's doing so well. I'm probably most proudest of him. He is my baby. <3 my Kenny. Can't wait to see him in NYC.

5. Dr. Chang is currently dating other girls. Ashley a fashion student, 21 & Alissa a dentist, 25 He's doing well too.

6. Grant is so sweet too. He's no longer the master of his domain!!!
7. Charles just broke up with the girlfriend. He failed to mention he had one.

8. Andrew the eyeglass wearing hottie will be here on the 7th. MMmmm.

9. Faith is having problems in her marriage still. She won't leave the fucking bastard. He's making her crazy.

10. Trish had surgery and is doing well.

11. Haven & Becca is doing well.
12. I'm sick. Because of the weather change I have a sore throat & earache!
13. Dash is producing a commercial in Baltimore and wants to hang out. He just wants sex.

14. Can't wait to see Mark & Pierre this weekend. Soooooooooooo hot!

15. Work is good. I'm becoming shy. I get embarrassed easily. Long story.



Take care everybody & email me :)

I won't be updating my journal much during the month of October it's a busy work month for me!

Road trip Nov. 2nd :) Can't hardly wait!!!


Muah Muah Muah!!!


PS--T, I hope you don't mind that I lied to Eric about you & me doing the nasty. I had to hurt him some way!!!