I slept so well lastnight. It was a much needed night of sleep. I haven't slept well in weeks and this was great for me. I awoke to a call from 'Married Mike'--the ex. He wants to do lunch in G'town today but I declined. I took the day to spend it in my pajamas and enjoy my house all to myself and pay bills, and plant flowers...yes, I do that!!!
Brit and talked lastnight. Why? I don't know! The only thing we have in common is Michael aka 'Brokeass' she seems to be doing well. Unfortunately, he isn't. I was thinking of calling him just to check in on him. She said that he's gone "GOTH PUNK" and wears eyeliner these days!!! Not the guy that I knew a year ago!!! Honestly I don't think I really knew him though...It's weird how Brit and I talk. We're okay with each other. Never in a million years would have thought that I'd be cordial to her. Who knew?!
My birthday is quickly approaching and I've had demands from everywhere to spend it with me. I promised dinner with Charles--aka Mr. Millionaire, his birthday is tommorrow. Dr. Drew Chang wants to hang out too. He's so different from anything ordinary. He's a nice change. My friend Jeff (law school) is coming up soon from FL and we're going to hang out for a few....My boy Kenny in Long Island and I are going to hang out when I get to NYC on May 12th. But I think I'm taking my girls to the beach house with me. We all need that. No men, just lots of good drinks and some sun and we'll be happy!!!
Did I mention that I love my new job? I'm so happy! Did I tell you how much I miss my Reece? Did I mention how much I'm not liking Renee these days?!
I'm missing E a lot.
Then theres T! He's going through a funk with the girls...The wedding pics were great!!! He's so increadibly goodlooking and I think we should just give up on love and just move in with each other :) On a more serious note I think of an old Otis Redding song when I think of T and Ellen
"Try a little tenderness, thats all you have to do. It's not just sentimental, NO NO NO. You won't regret it, no no no...Them young girls they don't forget it, no no....It's all so easy, all you have to do is try try a lil tenderness...all you have to do is dance...hold her where you want her, squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her, you've got to hold her....try a little tenderness...you have to love her, please her...don't bruise her...NO NO NO!!! Try a lil tenderness! "
I've got work to do now....
Enjoy the lovely weather!!!
Monday, April 11, 2005
Bad Habit
My friends insist that I give up on the 'internet guy' that disrespects me so much, but it's hard to just forget about him. He wasn't just some random guy...he was much more, but I can't change that. Have you ever loved somebody so much that you went againist the right thing that you should do? Ugh...what am I doing....enough, enough!
Faith came to my office this morning...As soon as she walked in I just looked at her and asked what was wrong and she said just started crying. As I got closer to her to comfort her, there was blood all over her clothes and I freaked! I thought she was in a car accident or something horrible like that....Her psuedo husband beat the shit out of her! She had marks all over her face where she said that he punched her right between the eyes, the marks on her upper arm was from his nails digging into her skin. I listened to her and all I heard was how everything was her fault....I don't agree with the way that Faith lives her life, but there is never a reason for a man to hit you, ever!!!! After talking about it most of the day with her she wasn't seeing things as they were...Needless to say she went back to him after I begged her to stay with me and I would help her as much as possible to make it on her own....It was all for nothing. I've tried calling her house two times tonight without an answer. I'm worried about her but I'm going to keep the faith!!
Work is great. I love it. I am so happy. And against my mother's wishes I'm not going back to school to get a degree in travel and tourism. How often would you find me working 40 plus hours a week? NEVER!!!
My 'ex' friend Jeff from FL whose ex is miss Patty Dunn who was shunned and lost her pageant title because she posed partially nude wants to spend my birthday with me and tells me all the time how I'm better than most and 'he' didn't appreciate me. Jeff doesn't know everything though....
Daddy is doing well. Im so happy. He actually told me that he feels as if he can breath again!!! Love my daddy!
Tonight Michael, Mark, Jason, Trish, Stacy, Courtney, Ian and I hung out at the bar and got a lil buzzed. It was nice....
I met a guy a work who is actually cute, Breck. He's so sweet. I'm sure he's devious beyond all of that.
In other news, ghetto fabulous Renee is punishing me by not allowing me to see Reece. I cry everytime I have enough time to think about him. I love him so much and she's keeping him away from me even after I put my life on hold for her for too long. I've been there for her more than her entire family has and because I decided that I couldn't keep doing that, I had to get back to the real world and get a real job she got pissed. Reece knows that I love him. He won't forget that. Ever. He knows that I took care of him. He knows that I was the one that was there for him thru everything...fevers, sickness, his daddy's death....his first word, his first step...everything! And she is now punishing me. So Renee if you ever stumble upon this...FUCK YOU :)
Back to the Merlot I go!
Faith came to my office this morning...As soon as she walked in I just looked at her and asked what was wrong and she said just started crying. As I got closer to her to comfort her, there was blood all over her clothes and I freaked! I thought she was in a car accident or something horrible like that....Her psuedo husband beat the shit out of her! She had marks all over her face where she said that he punched her right between the eyes, the marks on her upper arm was from his nails digging into her skin. I listened to her and all I heard was how everything was her fault....I don't agree with the way that Faith lives her life, but there is never a reason for a man to hit you, ever!!!! After talking about it most of the day with her she wasn't seeing things as they were...Needless to say she went back to him after I begged her to stay with me and I would help her as much as possible to make it on her own....It was all for nothing. I've tried calling her house two times tonight without an answer. I'm worried about her but I'm going to keep the faith!!
Work is great. I love it. I am so happy. And against my mother's wishes I'm not going back to school to get a degree in travel and tourism. How often would you find me working 40 plus hours a week? NEVER!!!
My 'ex' friend Jeff from FL whose ex is miss Patty Dunn who was shunned and lost her pageant title because she posed partially nude wants to spend my birthday with me and tells me all the time how I'm better than most and 'he' didn't appreciate me. Jeff doesn't know everything though....
Daddy is doing well. Im so happy. He actually told me that he feels as if he can breath again!!! Love my daddy!
Tonight Michael, Mark, Jason, Trish, Stacy, Courtney, Ian and I hung out at the bar and got a lil buzzed. It was nice....
I met a guy a work who is actually cute, Breck. He's so sweet. I'm sure he's devious beyond all of that.
In other news, ghetto fabulous Renee is punishing me by not allowing me to see Reece. I cry everytime I have enough time to think about him. I love him so much and she's keeping him away from me even after I put my life on hold for her for too long. I've been there for her more than her entire family has and because I decided that I couldn't keep doing that, I had to get back to the real world and get a real job she got pissed. Reece knows that I love him. He won't forget that. Ever. He knows that I took care of him. He knows that I was the one that was there for him thru everything...fevers, sickness, his daddy's death....his first word, his first step...everything! And she is now punishing me. So Renee if you ever stumble upon this...FUCK YOU :)
Back to the Merlot I go!
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Tonight was just all wrong!
So the girls and had the evening planned out...we were getting a suite, meeting up with some friends and partying. The evening started out fabulously. We were ahead of our arrival time, (always good for high maintaince girls). We checked into our room and it was very luxurious and nice. We all started the evening off with some Bacardi and then we headed over to dinner @ The Piccolo. My new favorite Italian rest. All the boys ordered prime rib while I was normal and had Ziti. It was very pleasing...the service, food and the environment was cozy, quaint and we were all pleased (thats rare).
We went out to Ozio, then to 1223, then to Home. I'm 25 years old and the bar scene is just not for me anymore. Thats not news though. I met a fighfighter named Bryce who was super sweet but he was from IL. Like I need another one of those....Too much work!!!! He insisted on buying me drinks...who am I to say no?! After two Candy Apple 'Tini's I was becoming disgusted with the 'game' that men tend to run in order to 'get some'! I'm not that easy asshole is what I was silently screaming while flashing my 2000 watt Miss Congenality smile.
We all went back to our hotel room and then I had an ephiphany. This entire scene with the boy girl ratio at 2-1 just wasn't good. I flet uncomfortable and then when the guys broke out the 'snow' I got uneasy and I freaked...I demanded that everyone get it out of my site. That drug caused soooooooooo much pain in my life. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. So after realizing that I was better than that....I decided that I was going home...Okay...really....McLean!!! I don't trust myself around it and I don't want it around me. So I left. Yep....drove home alone.
I needed to.
More later :)
We went out to Ozio, then to 1223, then to Home. I'm 25 years old and the bar scene is just not for me anymore. Thats not news though. I met a fighfighter named Bryce who was super sweet but he was from IL. Like I need another one of those....Too much work!!!! He insisted on buying me drinks...who am I to say no?! After two Candy Apple 'Tini's I was becoming disgusted with the 'game' that men tend to run in order to 'get some'! I'm not that easy asshole is what I was silently screaming while flashing my 2000 watt Miss Congenality smile.
We all went back to our hotel room and then I had an ephiphany. This entire scene with the boy girl ratio at 2-1 just wasn't good. I flet uncomfortable and then when the guys broke out the 'snow' I got uneasy and I freaked...I demanded that everyone get it out of my site. That drug caused soooooooooo much pain in my life. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. So after realizing that I was better than that....I decided that I was going home...Okay...really....McLean!!! I don't trust myself around it and I don't want it around me. So I left. Yep....drove home alone.
I needed to.
More later :)
Monday, April 04, 2005
My Rock
Thats what he is....
I've said it before but I don't know what I'd do if I lost him...he's the glue that keeps me together. He's the only man that has ever loved me unconditionally and he's not doing well and I live in constant fear of losing that and God forbid if I ever did....
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is noone else like my daddy
I still remember the expression on your face when you found out that I'd been on a date and had a boyfriend...
I still remember I called you crying about my tattoo you could have said I told you so instead you said you'd get one too!
Words can't express my boundless gratitude for you
I appreciate what you do...
You've given me such security, no matter what mistakes I make I know you're there for me
You cure my disapointments and heal my pain, you understand my fears and you protect me
I treasure every extraordinary memory...
I thank you for loving me
Even if my man broke my heart today,
No matter how much pain I'm in,
I'll be okay because I got a man in my life that can't be replaced
Because this love is unconditional and it doesn't go away...
Lord why did you pick me? I can't stop the tears from falling...
I love you soooooooooooo much daddy! You've done so much for me. I love you daddy
I get so emotional daddy...I get so emotional daddy everytime I think of you, I get so emotional
There is noone else like my daddy...No One else...
He's been thru hell and he needs all the prayers he can get...
It's been shitty around here but I'll live...
Andrew aka Dr. Chang and I are going to chill tonight...I need some distractions. I don't know it may be too soon...we'll see.
Work today was great. Loved every minute of it...I'm excited. Although Golf is down 8% this year...but with me on board, that will change....
It's time for a new car...yay!!! Shopping always makes me happy. I'm going downtown for some drinks...whose coming with?
I've said it before but I don't know what I'd do if I lost him...he's the glue that keeps me together. He's the only man that has ever loved me unconditionally and he's not doing well and I live in constant fear of losing that and God forbid if I ever did....
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is noone else like my daddy
I still remember the expression on your face when you found out that I'd been on a date and had a boyfriend...
I still remember I called you crying about my tattoo you could have said I told you so instead you said you'd get one too!
Words can't express my boundless gratitude for you
I appreciate what you do...
You've given me such security, no matter what mistakes I make I know you're there for me
You cure my disapointments and heal my pain, you understand my fears and you protect me
I treasure every extraordinary memory...
I thank you for loving me
Even if my man broke my heart today,
No matter how much pain I'm in,
I'll be okay because I got a man in my life that can't be replaced
Because this love is unconditional and it doesn't go away...
Lord why did you pick me? I can't stop the tears from falling...
I love you soooooooooooo much daddy! You've done so much for me. I love you daddy
I get so emotional daddy...I get so emotional daddy everytime I think of you, I get so emotional
There is noone else like my daddy...No One else...
He's been thru hell and he needs all the prayers he can get...
It's been shitty around here but I'll live...
Andrew aka Dr. Chang and I are going to chill tonight...I need some distractions. I don't know it may be too soon...we'll see.
Work today was great. Loved every minute of it...I'm excited. Although Golf is down 8% this year...but with me on board, that will change....
It's time for a new car...yay!!! Shopping always makes me happy. I'm going downtown for some drinks...whose coming with?
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