"Boys, repeat after me, I will not text after 11 pm, I will not engage in flirtexting, and I will not under any circumstances expect the girl to split the bill on the first date. Now just the girls, I will not drunk dial, I will not allow a boy to have his cake and eat it too (you'll understand when you're older), and I will walk away and never look back when he says 'I'm not ready' (again, trust me on this one)."
My lesson plans according to Michelle :)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Delete
As someone who battles with her computer on almost a daily basis (okay that’s a stretch, but I just don’t really understand it a lot of the time) there is one function that a computer has that I have always respected. That function my friends, is delete.
My computer deletes without feeling, without debate. It asks me only once if I am sure, and then it does the job. It doesn’t ask me “Do you think you will regret deleting this file?”, “are you sure this isn’t a mistake?” or “Isn’t this the best copy you’ve made, shouldn’t you keep it?”, my computer coolly and objectively deletes with one swift swipe of the enter key. There are no tears, long conversations anazlying the matter, or sleepless nights. My computer just deletes and moves on.
Other than the time I accidentally deleted my entire hard drive (oh what a life I lead!), I’ve never been really good at deleting anything. I still have my first baby tooth, my class president crown from grade two and my one and only Spice girl CD. I have kept matchbooks with numbers I would never call, pictures of people I don’t remember and every napkin I’ve ever scratched an ingenious thought on (most of these thoughts occur at 2am when I’m drunk on genius and tequila) . Deleting possessions, removing them from my cluttered life has never been my strong suit.
People are even worse.
The ability to delete has become one of interest only recently. I had always accepted that I was unable to delete, to remove, to erase people in my life. I mean, if I can’t discard the president’s crown from grade 2 (I totally rocked the competition though), how could I possibly find the boldness to delete a person? Like I said, I had accepted this fate until a funny thing happened…
Within the last couple of weeks I have witnessed to examples of exactly how to delete. Two of my loveliest friends, each in a different way were able to find their delete button and discard the emotions, attachments and questions that were clinging to a person in their life. The people they had attached these trappings to were people that they cared about, lusted after, even (despite what they would sometimes admit) loved. For years, (notice the italics) each of them had kept these people around, unwilling to delete them, unable to do anything else. Why did they delete? They found themselves in a position where their lives were better for it. I don’t mean to be one-dimensional, but we entertain people in our lives who make our lives better, once someone fails to do that, or prevents you from making your own life better, you should start eyeing the delete button. That is not to say that once you hit ‘delete’ and decide to move on that you will forget about the person, (most are afterall a little more memorable then a paper crown), it’s just that you will erase their file and gain some free storage to create something new. You will remember what you wrote, you just won’t have a copy to hold on to.
Do I have people that I should delete? Absolutely. People who are long since gone who I allow to influence my descisions, to affect my mood and cause me to question things that can no longer be answered? Yes. Have I deleted these people? No. But I’m going to. Today. Because a girl can drive herself crazy trying to hold on to something that she doesn’t really have. And after a few sleepless nights, I’ve realized I’m better than staring at myfailed relationships computer screen and wondering what to do next. So for now, I will push the delete button, take a deep breath and reboot.
It’s going to be an interesting summer.
My computer deletes without feeling, without debate. It asks me only once if I am sure, and then it does the job. It doesn’t ask me “Do you think you will regret deleting this file?”, “are you sure this isn’t a mistake?” or “Isn’t this the best copy you’ve made, shouldn’t you keep it?”, my computer coolly and objectively deletes with one swift swipe of the enter key. There are no tears, long conversations anazlying the matter, or sleepless nights. My computer just deletes and moves on.
Other than the time I accidentally deleted my entire hard drive (oh what a life I lead!), I’ve never been really good at deleting anything. I still have my first baby tooth, my class president crown from grade two and my one and only Spice girl CD. I have kept matchbooks with numbers I would never call, pictures of people I don’t remember and every napkin I’ve ever scratched an ingenious thought on (most of these thoughts occur at 2am when I’m drunk on genius and tequila) . Deleting possessions, removing them from my cluttered life has never been my strong suit.
People are even worse.
The ability to delete has become one of interest only recently. I had always accepted that I was unable to delete, to remove, to erase people in my life. I mean, if I can’t discard the president’s crown from grade 2 (I totally rocked the competition though), how could I possibly find the boldness to delete a person? Like I said, I had accepted this fate until a funny thing happened…
Within the last couple of weeks I have witnessed to examples of exactly how to delete. Two of my loveliest friends, each in a different way were able to find their delete button and discard the emotions, attachments and questions that were clinging to a person in their life. The people they had attached these trappings to were people that they cared about, lusted after, even (despite what they would sometimes admit) loved. For years, (notice the italics) each of them had kept these people around, unwilling to delete them, unable to do anything else. Why did they delete? They found themselves in a position where their lives were better for it. I don’t mean to be one-dimensional, but we entertain people in our lives who make our lives better, once someone fails to do that, or prevents you from making your own life better, you should start eyeing the delete button. That is not to say that once you hit ‘delete’ and decide to move on that you will forget about the person, (most are afterall a little more memorable then a paper crown), it’s just that you will erase their file and gain some free storage to create something new. You will remember what you wrote, you just won’t have a copy to hold on to.
Do I have people that I should delete? Absolutely. People who are long since gone who I allow to influence my descisions, to affect my mood and cause me to question things that can no longer be answered? Yes. Have I deleted these people? No. But I’m going to. Today. Because a girl can drive herself crazy trying to hold on to something that she doesn’t really have. And after a few sleepless nights, I’ve realized I’m better than staring at my
It’s going to be an interesting summer.
And I Quote
“I never wanted to be one of those girls in love with boys who would not have me. Unrequited love- plain desperate aboveboard boy chasing turned you into a salesperson, and what you were selling was something he didn’t want, could not use, would never miss. Unrequited love was deciding to be useless and I could never abide uselessness"
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