Chria Mathews basically hates Hilary, but this is quite funny :)
Enjoy!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
What Are You Giving Up?
For Lent? I'm a nondenom Christian so therefore I don't practice persay, but I've already given up on something of very sentimental value to me this week. So I've decided to eliminate "Bad words" from my vocab as well.
I personally can not stand when ladies curse, but I do it too. No more. Nada. Zippy. Done.
I personally can not stand when ladies curse, but I do it too. No more. Nada. Zippy. Done.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday Funny
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
> tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
>
>
> The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
>
>
> Eight," the boy replied.
>
>
> The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
>
>
> The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.
> He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would
> be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
> tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
>
>
> The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
>
>
> Eight," the boy replied.
>
>
> The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
>
>
> The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him.
> He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would
> be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
Bitch is the new Black!
This may seem odd to you, but NBC pulled the Tina Fey SNL skit from you tube because of copyright issues. I mean the media does love Barack Obama but do they really have to make it so obvious?!
FEY: And finally, the most important Women’s News item there is, we have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton.
And yet, women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman.
Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.
Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama?
Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents.
‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh.
Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? I wanna watch that show, Starsky.
You know, what is it, America? What is it, are you weirded out that they’re married?
‘Cause I can promise you that they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.
Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance.
Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really?
They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch.
Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is.
And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
(Amy says yeah and starts nodding her head, together they get in a rhythm, with Amy saying in response, more yeahs, uh huhs, with a 'you go girl' style)
Like back in grammar school,
they could have had priests teaching you but, no,
they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots
and who could hit ya and you HATED those bitches
But at the end of the school year
you sure KNEW the capital of Vermont!
So COME ON Texas and Ohio
Get on board, it's not too late!...
BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!
FEY: And finally, the most important Women’s News item there is, we have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton.
And yet, women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman.
Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.
Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama?
Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents.
‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh.
Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? I wanna watch that show, Starsky.
You know, what is it, America? What is it, are you weirded out that they’re married?
‘Cause I can promise you that they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.
Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance.
Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really?
They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch.
Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is.
And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
(Amy says yeah and starts nodding her head, together they get in a rhythm, with Amy saying in response, more yeahs, uh huhs, with a 'you go girl' style)
Like back in grammar school,
they could have had priests teaching you but, no,
they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots
and who could hit ya and you HATED those bitches
But at the end of the school year
you sure KNEW the capital of Vermont!
So COME ON Texas and Ohio
Get on board, it's not too late!...
BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Che and Barack
If you haven't heard or seen by now...In Obama's headquarters in Texas there was a Cuban flag with Che's nasty ugly face on it. Way to condone the mass killing of hundreds of innocents through blood lust committed by Che. Isn't this the exact thing he is fighting against in the case of Iraq? Barack is a hyprocrite!!!!
Totally disguesting.
Totally disguesting.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
One Day Or...
Conversation between myself, two other women, and a young man at the salon who just broke his engagement to his high school sweetheart and also just spent $15,000 on a wedding that is no longer going to be taking place.
Yesterday:
Widowed Becca: Two things. Godiva Chocolates and a Vibrator. Done.
Married Michelle: I won't get a card from my husband because he thinks Valentine's Day is nothing more than a way for the card companies to make money.
ME: Hmm, I hear that reasoning from a lot of men. I wonder how women feel about Valentine's Day.
Man in Salon, pointedly asking me: I don't know. How do women feel?
ME: I would rather have 364 days of special versus one.
This made the young man laugh, which made me happy.
How about all of you? How do you feel about this day of love?
Yesterday:
Widowed Becca: Two things. Godiva Chocolates and a Vibrator. Done.
Married Michelle: I won't get a card from my husband because he thinks Valentine's Day is nothing more than a way for the card companies to make money.
ME: Hmm, I hear that reasoning from a lot of men. I wonder how women feel about Valentine's Day.
Man in Salon, pointedly asking me: I don't know. How do women feel?
ME: I would rather have 364 days of special versus one.
This made the young man laugh, which made me happy.
How about all of you? How do you feel about this day of love?
I'll take mine in a glass, thanks!
Happy VD!
VD, nothing a little shot can't cure.
A little shot of Stoli.
A little shot of Jack.
A little shot of Jose'.
A little shot of Jim.
...the alcohol.
Not the men.
Although....
VD, nothing a little shot can't cure.
A little shot of Stoli.
A little shot of Jack.
A little shot of Jose'.
A little shot of Jim.
...the alcohol.
Not the men.
Although....
Sex, Sex, and just for fun a little more Sex
Without further ado...
It was believed in Victorian times that if a woman bathed in fresh strawberries, it'd help shrink flabby breasts.
(See, how, how does this even make a little bit of sense?)
It is said that the famous prostitute and madam Calamity Jane earned her nickname because of the social disease she inevitably inflicted upon those who had sex with her.
(I guess it is all in a name in this case and a ratehr obvious one at that.)
Oophorectomies, the removing of a women's ovaries, came into vogue in the Victorian era as a means of curing a host of ailments, including irritability, "simple cussedness," and "eating like a plowman."
(hmm, well if I can't eat like a man and if I would no longer have the ability to cuss, I'll keep mine, thanks.)
Homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.
(...and yet still, so many people think it is a sin and can be cured.)
In the fifth century B.C., a Corinthian athlete tried to bribe an Olympic games official with fifty top-quality harlots.
(See, I bet if the judges were bribed with whores opposed to money, the French skaters would still have their gold medals. Just sayin'.)
In order to fully finance the cost of constructing Saint Peter's Basilica in Rome, there was instituted a church-imposed prostitution tax, whose revenue exceeded even that from the sales of indulgences.
(I bet if we had a tax like this the National Debt would be gone. Whose with me???)
It was believed in Victorian times that if a woman bathed in fresh strawberries, it'd help shrink flabby breasts.
(See, how, how does this even make a little bit of sense?)
It is said that the famous prostitute and madam Calamity Jane earned her nickname because of the social disease she inevitably inflicted upon those who had sex with her.
(I guess it is all in a name in this case and a ratehr obvious one at that.)
Oophorectomies, the removing of a women's ovaries, came into vogue in the Victorian era as a means of curing a host of ailments, including irritability, "simple cussedness," and "eating like a plowman."
(hmm, well if I can't eat like a man and if I would no longer have the ability to cuss, I'll keep mine, thanks.)
Homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.
(...and yet still, so many people think it is a sin and can be cured.)
In the fifth century B.C., a Corinthian athlete tried to bribe an Olympic games official with fifty top-quality harlots.
(See, I bet if the judges were bribed with whores opposed to money, the French skaters would still have their gold medals. Just sayin'.)
In order to fully finance the cost of constructing Saint Peter's Basilica in Rome, there was instituted a church-imposed prostitution tax, whose revenue exceeded even that from the sales of indulgences.
(I bet if we had a tax like this the National Debt would be gone. Whose with me???)
Monday, February 11, 2008
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