Dear Everyone who is planning on dressing up for Halloween this year,
Let me preface this by saying I love Halloween. I do. But the idea of searching for the perfect costume leaves me feeling drunk with happiness.
The last couple of years I’ve been a Pamela Anderson sans Kid Rock, Marie Antoinette, Pink, and one year I was Ashley Olsen while Haven was Mary-Kate.
I take Halloween seriously. So it’s with much love and respect that I come to you all with this plea: Can we all bypass going out this year dressed in our bras and calling it a costume? My heart sinks when I enter a room and find myself surrounded by groups of girls dressed in nothing more than a bra and panties, with the truly ‘creative’ girls adding wings. Adding wings when you are 97% naked doesn’t turn your outfit into something. Really. I promise. It just makes you the girl in your bra wearing wings.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that Halloween is about expression. It’s about taking chances, finding something that sets you apart, taking a risk. And for some of you, maybe ‘taking a risk’ implies leaving your pants at home (and for some of you sadly, it does not). But I want you to know, that when it’s your third Halloween wearing the plastic bra and fishnets, you are no longer taking a risk. If you truly believe that Halloween is about expression, take a real risk and put more clothes on. Be something (or someone) unexpected. Because going out dressed like a member of *”ho train” doesn’t show me that you’ve put any thought into your costume. In fact, it just makes me think that your house burnt down, you have no friends to lend you clothes and you’ve showed up almost naked hoping someone will give you a shirt to put on.
And if I run into you while you stand there in your push up bra and and fishnets and ask you what you are (because I will do that- seeing the panic in your eyes and you try to think of what to call yourself is one of my Halloween highlights), at least have something prepared- calling yourself a whore in a roomful of similarly dressed girls isn’t original. Call yourself a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue girl. Then you will at least have admiration, but not my respect.
I save that for the group of girls who dress up like garden peas with bruised eyes and call themselves “The Black-Eyed Peas”.
I told you I take Halloween seriously.
A spirited plea,
Amaya
