Today I went to my doctor. This is the same doctor that basically diagnosed me with AML years ago, mind you. I got lucky because there was a cancellation and I was able to get in and be seen. Lately, I've been going to the doctor in which my friend Lisa practices under. So it has been a while since I've seen Dr. Dale.

I told him that in the past six months I've had several sore throats, colds, and lots of fatigue. He said that all of my lymph nodes were swollen. When I thought he was just 'feeling me up' he was actually trying to see if my spleen was swollen. The look on his face was the same sad look he had when he told me that I had to be seen by an Oncologist. He sent me to this very cold waiting room while I read Family Circle magazine 3x's cover to cover and I still can't tell you anything about any of the articles!! The same fear I had before was back. The butcher/nurse that took my blood said it was fine for me to leave and the doctor would be in touch. So, I drove home. No music. Just driving. I passed cars but I saw nothing. I was numb.

Before I got to my garage it was Dr. Dale's office. They told me to come back to the office. My parents who assumed I would be in SC by now were in McLean. I called my grandmother. She met me @ the dr's office with my aunt Cornelia and Charles aka pawpaw's keeper!

We went in immeadiatly. We heard the nurse tell the doctor that I was back. I was still numb and my knees that which were shaking had to be held by my grandmother because my fear was so visible. I wanted to cry but I knew I couldn't I didn't have the diagnosis. In my heart of hearts I knew it was back. Finally, Dr. Dale came in and told me the news.

I thought I was going to die. Die because I was relieved. He told me that I had Mono! The AML WAS NOT BACK!!! He said that it's likely that I picked this up because my immune system is weak. My grandmother and I couldn't stop hugging because we were so relieved. He says that it's likely that I got Mono from a student at school. Most dirty college kids have it and it keeps spreading from person to person. I got it because my body is still weak from AML. The treatments compromised my immune system.

Atleast now I know I'm not lazy. I have the sore throats for a reason. I get the "You're always sick" from everyone which at times saddens me, but nothing makes me more sad than fighting a losing battle.

So I'll take Mono. I'll take it anyday!!!