Thanks for the many phone calls, voicemails and emails! In the short few hours that I posted the last blog I've had many people voice their concern. I said earlier "I'm dying with him" I meant a part of me is dying too. I can't even think straight or clearly. I apologize for being so vague! I'm not a quitter and I would never hurt myself.
Just pray for my daddy. We've been told it's only a matter of hours or days. I've been told this for years and I want to stay positive. He's heavily medicated and tends to sleep a lot.
Haven is here with Luke. Ian is sleeping on the couch, Becca is sleeping in Isaiah and Chandler's room tonight. My house is full and it's so quiet.
We all had the talk today after my doctors appointment. I started yelling and screaming and lashing out because their burying him before he's even dead. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't. I was mean. I made my brother cry. He told me that I need to get myself because I'm a basketcase. I couldn't help it. I lashed out at them. We later apologized and we all sat by the pool and just watched the sunset. I just want a million more sunrises and sunsets with my daddy. What kills me is I know that I won't.
I love him so much.
