I got to thinking this morning about deal breakers and compromises. What would you be willing to give up if you met the man, woman, tranny of your dreams that was all that, then some, and a little bit more? Those things that make you happy, all those little things that eventually add up to the big things that you like in a person, in your life, in a relationship; what would you be willing to compromise on, give up, in order to keep that man, woman, he/she that is the dog's pajamas, the cat's tuxedo, and the milk bone of your world?
So, let's talk deal breakers.
Me? I can't stand cigarette smoke, mostly because it makes me sick and eventually it makes my nose bleed.
I like my alcohol and I can't imagine dating someone who didn't have an occasional drink. Yet, I am strangely amazed when I down a cocktail and my companion doesn't. I would never like it the way my grandfather liked it...As an alcoholic.
I need someone who is open and honest in all aspects of their life, so someone who said, "I don't want to talk about it," or was always shut down or extremely walled up when questions and conversations are happening, well, it's not going to go well between us.
Sex, please, be open and tell me what you like and want. I will do the same. Someone who isn't going to want to smack, play with, grab or occassionally fuck me, well, eventually that's going to get old. Great sex doesn't have to be of the physical kind either. A mindfuck. Those are the best!
Chewing with your mouth open.....
No.
I'm thinking too big.
Let's think smaller.
Unibrows. I will eventually become cross-eyed from looking at it and wonder why the hell your not aware of it. Same with nose hair. And comb-overs. I mean, really, have you not heard the comments and jokes about these things??? Please, tweeze, pluck, plow, shave and generally take care of these things.
Someone who isn't a good kisser. Kissing is very important to me. Essential, really. Yeah. There is something about two pairs of compatable lips coming together for the soft, hard, passionate, breathing in sync, tongues mingling, not too wet, yet not dry, warm taste of each other mixed together that is so.damn.perfect. As i'm typing and thinking my fingers unconsciously touch my mouth and my fingernails go across my lips....weird.
Someone who doesn't think birthdays are a big deal.
Someone who doesn't get excited about the small things. The really, really, really small things that make life, life. A beautiful full moon, sunset, the skyline.
The way something smells.
A great song on the radio.
A really good book
The way something feels, the softness of my hair...the warmth of body.
Someone who doesn't make me laugh. Christ. You know where I would be without the ability to laugh? In Happydale Insane Asylum waiting for my next electric shock therapy treatment.
Someone who can't or doesn't want to talk on the phone for hours at a time. Sure seeing each other is best, but sometimes, with life being life, that isn't possible.
Someone who doesn't have a nice voice. I realize a person can't really control this one, but if I have to spend the rest of my life listening to a person I want to be able to listen to the words coming out of their mouth without thinking, "shut up! shut up! shut up!"
Someone who doesn't say, "bless you" when I sneeze. Remember I sneeze on average three times in a row. I could go at anytime. I need to be blessed!
Someone who complains. All.the.damn.time. Here, here's the pot, piss already.
Someone who doesn't say, "...and you?" That's a biggie. A hugey, actually.
Yeah, it would never work.
My bff does it a lot actually. I'll ask a question via text and he'll respond back with , "You?" Meaningless to some--huge to me!
Honesty. The best aphrodisiac there is.
Communication. The best mindfuck. Poor communication skills: Nothing will last, misunderstanding will happen far to frequently, anger and resentment will soon follow.
Poor self-image: If someone doesn't feel good about themselves and has self-esteem issues it will carry over into all (ALL) aspects of their life.The hottest man (or woman) on the planet will fall to pieces in my eyes if they are constantly putting themself down or worring about what others think about them. (Or constantly pull or tug on their clothes.) We've all had our moments but the right person will get you over this quick! Size, shape, looks, sure they matter, but in the long run do they? No, not really. It's the package, the whole package that I am after.
I'm vain, I like to look good. However, as I've said before, I get up somewhere between 5:30 and 5:32 in the morning to be at work/class at 7:30. Obviously I have the routine down to a science. Obviously a person can look good and put together without spending hours doing so.
I love my heels, skirts, and cleveage baring tops. However, I like my flip-flops, t-shirts, holy jeans and pony-tails just as much. (sometimes more.)
Someone who doesn't say my name. men who don't say my name. AGH!!!! I hate it. And I don't mean during sex, I mean, ever! Drives me crazy. Plus, I often wonder what's behind it. Can't say, can't remember it, dating too many other people and don't want to call me the wrong one, spell it, what?
Good teeth. Obsession. Teeth. I am a teeth, lips, and eyebrow person. Hey, some people are into arms, legs, asses, I'm into nice lips, teeth, and eyebrows.
Another one. Terms of endearment that I can't stand. I know, I know. I should be happy they have a cute nickname of something affectionate to call me, but I don't like two that are immediately coming to mind.
Dear and hun
...skin crawls.
Bad association.
Ugh.Truly, pick any others and it's good.
Talks bad about his mother. Not a good sign. If he calls his mother a bitch, well chances are I will be called on sooner or later and probably for no reason at all.
A bad temper. not going to happen.
The whole intelligence thing. Love of learning and stupid trivia and a desire to keep up with the news is a given, but then again, so is basic spelling. My ex in Ohio was elstupido! I got 1 lurve letter (before he went to jail) and that was filled with words not spelled correctly.
Someone who shooshes me. Amaya don't get shooshed! An ex 'shooshed' me once. Key word in there. It was a completely unconscious moment. I was yammering on about something, he was watching TV and 'shooshed' me. Pause. Laughter. Became an inside joke. However, if it was said seriously it would have been a problem.
Lack of touch in general. No hand holding, no PDA's, no out-of-nowhere- arm, back, neck, arm, body touches. Just place your hand there, rub for a few seconds to recognize me, to tell me you care....it means so, so, SO much to a human being. Touch and to feel connected to another person.
Hmm, I seem to have gotten stuck on all the kinda big things, well, those are essential to me that would eventually ware on me and the dog's tuxedo who started out as the milk bone of my world would eventually turn out to be another crumb in the annals of my dating world.
So, what about you? What would your deal breakers be?
