If he always gives you the last bite of his sandwich or the first lick of his ice cream cone, then he loves you.
If he’s seen your high school prom photo and says he still loves you, then he loves you.
If he’s counted all your freckles,- even the ones behind your knees, then he loves you.
If, right before sleep, he leans in, buries his nose in your hair and inhales, and when you ask what he’s doing, he smiles a smile that reminds you of a secret and says ‘nothing’, then he loves you.
If he tells you that you make chickenpox sexy, then he loves you. He’s lying, but he loves you.
If he’s laid beside you in a too small bed, in a lit up room and listened as you told him all the ways you feel like you are failing, then he loves you.
If he remembers the name of your arch enemy from the sixth grade and hates her because he knows all about how she started the rumor that you only used boys deodorant, when you didn’t- then he loves you. And he hates her. But he loves you.
If he’s ever attempted to wash your hair because you said that scene in “Out of Africa” really gets you, then he loves you.
If he makes sure that you never have to sit beside his friend Michael, the one who never washes his hair, calls his penis “Frankie the Pork Sword” and smells like the bottom of a dumpster, then he loves you.
If you are Jennifer Anistan, then he loves you.
If he’s consumed your mom’s burnt chicken, let your brother win the basketball game and laughed too long and too hard at your dad’s jokes, then he loves you.
If he told you how him and his cousin ran out of school on the first day to get to their Mommies, then he loves you. Or, he’s made up the story to get into your pants. But he could love you.
If he tells you, “I don’t know how to fix this, but I want to”, then he loves you.
If he sits through “The Hills” every Monday night, then he loves you. And possibly Heidi. But he loves you.
If he introduces you to his daughter, then he loves you.
If during hour five of an eight hour roadtrip, he sees you are bored and flips the radio station to a horrifying boy band song and begins to serenade you with his best falsetto, while keeping the beat with his hand tapping your knee, and refuses to quit until you laugh, then he loves you.
If he’s ever bought you tampons, then he loves you.
If, while vertical, sober, and full clothed, and without hope or agenda, he tells you that he loves you, then he loves you.
If he knows exactly what scene in “Gone with the Wind” that makes you cry the hardest, and he waits until the movie is over before he begins to make fun of you for crying in the first place, then he loves you.
If his favorite stories are the ones of you as a kid, if he calls you ‘monkey’ in front of his friends, if he remembers that you like the kleenex with the lotion in it, if he allows you to use clorox all over the house, if he lets you eat his french fries when you know they are his favorite, if he makes small talk with your grandmother when you can’t deal with her crazy, if he tells you that your cute victory dance is worth his own defeat, if he checks the road conditions before you leave for a trip, if he’s ever attempted to sew a button on your favorite dress when you are running late, then he loves you.
Thats how you know!
