It's 12 am. I can't sleep. I'm restless. I'm going through a lot of transformations right now and I'm trying to adjust to this new world without my Daddy.
The pain never goes away. I miss him so much. I seriously can't believe it sometimes. It truly is the hardest thing in the world to wake up without him. To not have him here with me is heartbreaking. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed. He's so missed.
I know he is no longer in pain. He is at peace. He's my world. And my world just isn't right without him here with me.
I need to see him again. I need to see his smile. I want to hug him forever because thats the only place I've ever felt safe is in my daddy's arms. He was the one that always went up to bat for me. He always knew just what to say or do to make it all better.
He always was proud to call me his 'shadow' to everyone. He was so brilliant. A man's man. He is just the most wonderful man and I'm one lucky girl to have such a great daddy.
I'm a bit lost these last few days... I miss him so much. I sometimes talk to him and that helps. He picks me up when I'm down even on these awful days when you can't seem to function because you miss him so damn much.
Daddy,
I miss you. I wish I had one more hour with you. I would do anything for a hug and kiss from my daddy. I know you don't like it when I'm upset. You hate it when I cry but sometimes it hurts so bad that I have to climb into bed and just cry myself to sleep. I know you know how much we love you...I just wish I had one more opportunity to tell you again.
Shadow
