I've been busier than a $5 crack whore looking for my next blow-job so I can get my fix on.I promise to return with wit, sarcasm, and wonderful insights into the world very soon. Say, tomorrow-ish.
But today...ehh
I don't typically like to bitch. I'm not a fan of the nag, the whine, the sit and sulk and say that everything is fine when really we both know that it's not. However, you're suppose to be smart enough to figure out what's wrong with me while I just sit and stew and stew over what ever it is that pissed me off, but you have no clue so you go out with the guys and then several days later I blow-up over you not telling me you missed me when really I'm pissed about that thing that happened on Wednesday and it's now Sunday morning.Nope, that's not me.
I am however, very fond of the five second vent. Stand or sit just shut-up and just let me vent for five seconds. I don't want advice. I don't want a solution to the vent. I just want you to sit or stand, shut-up and listen. So, this is me venting. If it takes you longer than five seconds to read this, well then that's not my fault.
So, I am depressed today. Right now. Not in a, 'I hate myself and I feel all blechy about myself,' kind of way. No, it's more of a, 'People are irritating me.' But not so much in a, 'I want to rip their heads off' kind of way. It's more in a, I look at you and take a deep internal sigh and think, 'you make me tired,' kind of way.I'm tired.People are wearing me out and not in the good fun kind of way. I just feel, sigh-ish. Slouch-ish.
I tried working out. That usually solves this kind of mood. Nope. I even got up to 81 RPM's on level 5 of the treadmile, for an entire minute. I had a moment of, "Wow, you rock." But notice the period, no exclamation point. I did the free-weights. Nope, nothing.
While I was working out I watched my tivo of "Dateline," and they had one of their infamous, "I'm a 40 year-old pervert and I've come to seduce the 14 year-old who is really a decoy and this is all a set-up, but I'm too stupid to know it," shows. I'm pretty sure that's what put me over the edge.
Watching all these seemingly normal and okay, a few not too normal, men try and seduce these supposed 12-14 year-old virgin girls. One drove four hours to meet her. Another two hours and showed up at 4am. Several had a wife and kids. Several have been arrested before.Then, then the kicker.
The one who sent me over the preverbial edge.
A 40 year-old man who showed up with his five-year-old son in tow.
Yep.
He brought his son with him while he planned to have sex with a 14 year-old virgin.
Seriously.
They had to call his wife to come pick up the son while the father was hauled away to jail. Seriously.
I know you can never know someone entirely or completely.
I know you can never know what someone is thinking or fantasizing about.
I know there are all kinds of pervs out there.
I know you can never know where someone is or what or whom they are doing and when and where they are doing it.
I know the whole, on-line thing is revolutionizing perversion and fetish and ways to meet people that even I probably don't know and don't want to be aware of.
But, seriously.
Married men?
40 year-old married men, with families. With a wife and kids at home. With daughters of their own going to meet 12-14 year-old virgins at her home and seduce her. Driving over four hours to do so.
*Rubs forehead while shaking my head.*
I don't get it.
You know who and what you are.
You can deny it, but you do.
You can try and hide it.
You can try and live a normal life in the everyday, but deep down, deep down in your soul and your gut of guts, you know who and what you are. Why bring an innocent family into the mix? Why? Why do that to them? Why? If you are seeking this out online, then I know what you are doing in your home. Chances are you are seeking out the innocent girl online while your innocent family is in the next room.
So I ask, who can I trust? Who should I trust? I've been wrong so, so many fucking times before. It takes a lot for me to bring down the bricks from my wall. I've brought down a few and peaked over, but damn it all to hell if someone doesn't fuck that up and make me want to put those bricks back up. I guess right now I just don't have a lot of faith. Faith in people. I'll be over it probably by this time tomorrow. This time next week at the latest. Almost nearly positive about that.
My trust issues have been well documented here on my blog. I have issues with trust. I can admit this. One step down, eleven more to go. I have a whole 12-month subscription worth of trust issues.
Add in this, "Dateline," episode, coupled with the relationships, the mother, the friends who have agendas, and well you have a pissy chick who just needed to vent for five seconds.
